Exam stress: Don’t make marks a prestige issue

Indore: Making it a prestige issue, most parents create competition among children forcing a rat race for first rank and higher marks. Running among their friends as competitors, students who fail to win fall into depression and the winners end up being loners.

Despite counselling, students still end up hurting themselves physically or mentally because of competitive pressure during examination. Voicing their opinion, some students shared their feelings and experiences about the same.

Sharing her experience, student Firdaus Khan said, “I stayed with my parents till schooling and examination was the toughest time of the year.” She was not scared of examination, but worried sick because of results.

“My parents, like most parents, asked me to study all the time and kept reinforcing the effect of average result,” Firdaus said. She explained that pressure combined from school, competition from friends and parents’ expectation always stressed her out. “I remember losing appetite then weight and finally myself in the round of examination, it was depressing,” she added.

While some students bore the pressure in hopes of moving away one day, others handled the pressure by taking themselves away from studies. Talking about how he handled the pressure, student Safwan Hussain said, “I was an average student and competed to pass my examination.”

Noticing how his friends suffered from examination stress, Hussain often studied hard and then partied harder every night secretly. “I do feel education is important, but life is much more important, so I try to avoid listening to anyone including my parents before examination,” he added.

What They Say… 

[alert type=”e.g. warning, danger, success, info” title=””]“My parents always compared my marks and my success with my cousins. It is frustrating to be competing with my cousins for everything from manners, clothes, examination to success. Over time, I started loathing those cousins and blaming them for troubles in my family life. I wish all parents could understand that everyone is unique with their own capabilities.”- Ashish Pinjani,  Student[/alert]

[alert type=”e.g. warning, danger, success, info” title=””]“More than parents, I feel relatives create this tension. I was an above average student, which was enough for my parents initially, but relatives turned the tables. My relatives would come over and talk about ‘Mr Sharmaji’s son’ and then my parents would not be satisfied even if I scored more than 70 per cent. I wish they could understand that marks don’t even count, learning does. I wish they would have been happy for my marks and celebrated, after all I worked hard.”- Harsh Vyas, Student[/alert]

[alert type=”e.g. warning, danger, success, info” title=””]“When I was young, I loved studying. I enjoyed reading, writing and everything. Basically, I was a nerd, but my parents were still not satisfied. They would always compare me to other students in our family. I felt demotivated and my interest decreased in studying. Till date, my parents worry more about marks than understanding. I do not know what to do. Why do we need to judge people by marks? Is there nothing called practical learning and experience?”Nisha Matai, Student[/alert]

[alert type=”e.g. warning, danger, success, info” title=””]“I was a born entrepreneur. I always wanted to study commerce, but my parents wanted me to become an engineer. When my cousin took science with mathematics in class XI, my parents had pressured me to do the same. However, I got supplementary in mathematics in class XI and fell into depression. I do not know why parents force their ideas and choices on us. If I do something that I love, then I would it great, but anything I do not love, I can barely manage to do it okay even if I try a lot.”Pradeep Dewani, Student[/alert]

[alert type=”e.g. warning, danger, success, info” title=””]“My parents did not pressure me directly, but ensured that I have doubts about myself. They did not compare me to my cousins but set a mark on percentage that I had to score. Somewhere that mark bothered me and caused anxiety and stress. I would always study thinking that I had to score minimum 70 per cent, else I would disappoint them. I wish it was not the case. I wish I could just enjoy studying and not worry about marks, isn’t that what learning is about?”- Sanchit Sadani, Student[/alert]

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