It wasn’t me!
I am sure most of you out there have been a helpless audience to a game, kids often play – Blame game. Mom, he hit me hard; Dad, she started it; No mom, he teased me first; is usually what parents get to hear the most while at home and it goes on – endlessly.
Yeah, all of us find ourselves in such sticky situations sometime or the other. In fact, we quite often are a witness of such situations around us and sometimes we are a player in this game too. Oh! Come on, admit it. Yes, we do play blame game and give in our best while we are at it. None of us wants to take up the responsibility or even share the responsibility with any one; in-case something goes wrong or not as planned. No, we should never to be blamed-ever.
But seriously, are we never or can never be – well; wrong?
Why do we dread this word “wrong”? Have you ever given a thought to the fact that there is a certain “right” only because there is a “wrong”. They are on flip side of each other. Agreed that one always has to strive for the “right” in all possible sense of word, but we have to give ourselves some liberty to go wrong as well; of course not intentionally and never morally; but it’s okay to commit mistakes, go wrong. We have to have some room for imperfections.
Mistakes are actually experiences
Mistakes have a unique quality which not every one dares to explore. Mistakes become an experience if you accept it. It actually is a lesson for the rest of your life, for a particular set up of circumstance; so that you do not stumble again and should know a way out of a situation which is of similar nature. But if the mistakes are not accepted, then they have a funny habit to follow you, tease you and hit you head on at the next possible opportunity. It is just like appearing for a failed test in class over and over again till you finally pass out with flying colours.
The fact to be understood is that, you would keep finding yourself in similar situations if you fail to accept your mistake in the first place. Isn’t it weird that a man who quits his job, because of his over bearing and ungrateful boss; finds himself in a new job where he encounters an even a nastier, evil boss? Did he ever give a thought of (may be) changing his way of working, instead of just focussing on to his boss and his behaviour? Or a girl; who walks out of a relationship on a trivial issue, blaming entirely her partner for everything unpleasant between them; finds herself in a series of such relationships? Did she ever try to realise that may be; just may be, she was wrong too; if not always; sometimes?
Complete the rhythm of mistake and wisdom
It is like playing the game of passing the parcel, you may be lucky to pass it on the first time over, but what is the probability of you escaping all the time, you will be caught sooner or later. I believe; life is all about learning various lessons, become wise and keep moving on to become wiser. But if we do not accept our mistakes and try and play the blame game then we break the rhythm, to complete the cycle of life with wisdom. Why then, should we break this rhythm?
While all of us are in constant search and lookout for happiness; coming to terms with oneself is the first step towards the same. One has to be in sync with the inner self. Get over with all the manupalations we keep doing in our minds, sometimes with others and most of the times with ourselves, in order to find that much sought after inner peace and tranquil.
Taking responsibility of all our thoughts, words and action will free you from everything which holds you back from becoming a better person.
Belive me, once you quit to dodge, it will be such an elated feeling that you would love yourself for doing it to you, and kick yourself for not having done this much earlier. You will feel free, feel light, and feel uncluttered.
But it may be difficult to do that; right? How can you just simply accept that you were wrong, right? Wrong! It isn’t that tough. And will take some determination, will power, and a strong desire to make yourself a better person. And to do that you need to be in constant interaction with yourself.
Let go of your attachment to the problem.
Let’s see how we can kick start the process.
We have to start by quitting playing the blame game with immediate effect. If this seems difficult, we may just consider the possibility that we somehow, contributed to the current situation. This doesn’t mean no one else played a part; it just means perhaps we did; as well.
A strong belief that there’s a lesson to be learnt every time one makes a mistake will take you a long way to hold on to your determination of taking responsibility. It will help us grow.
Review the situation, perhaps from a totally different perspective. Try to find out if, there is another way to interpret what happened and how it all played out? Consider the possibility that may be you helped to create a problem, just may be; be fair with yourself (at least!)
Out of all the solutions in our “Do it yourself” kit of finding peace within; my personal favourite is this one. Come to think of it, we are actually so attached with our problems that we don’t want to let go of it. We keep on thinking, brooding, analysing on what, how and why things went wrong. And while doing this we lose the chance to learn out of that mistake which actually is the essence of every pitfall. You know, problems have an irritating habit; the more you leech on to them, the more they leech back at you. More over, trying to control the problem will only keep you more attached to it. Let go is the easiest way out.
Letting go could come in many forms; seeing the good in the person who seems difficult, accepting a situation for what it is, or seeing the other side of the story will help you dettach yourself from the problem.
Quitting to play the blame game will help you enjoy life with no burden, no guilt and build a stronger, loving and most importantly, more relaxing relationships around you.
So like we chuck away any other bad habit, to attain better health, get over this one too; to attain a better life.
Do not pass the buck. Accept and move on, it will only make a wiser and happier you.