For God Loves Foolish People

For God Loves Foolish People

FPJ BureauUpdated: Saturday, June 01, 2019, 05:19 AM IST
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This personal memoir is a moving tale of a complex and yet a woman of integrity and unassuming, stupefying and never ebbing spirit.

The It is anything but a Mills and Boon type of romantic fantasy. This is the narrative of a girl who grew up in idyllic surroundings in Haldwani in the foothills of Nainital and then at the tender age of 14 having to face the harsh reality of life. Her dream of being a member of the medical profession lay shattered.

But Satbir pulled herself together and endeared herself to her husband Balbir, her in-laws and other relatives. It was quite a change she had to grapple with from Bombay’s anglicised environment to the middle class and loud atmospherics of crowded Karol Bagh in Delhi packed with refugees from Pakistan following the traumatic partition.

For God Loves Foolish People<br />Satbir Chadha<br />Publisher: Vitasta Publishing<br />Pages: 176; Price: Rs 245

For God Loves Foolish People
Satbir Chadha
Publisher: Vitasta Publishing
Pages: 176; Price: Rs 245 |

Hailing from a devout Sikh family, Satbir Chadha’s first book “For God Loves Foolish People” details how their affluent business family had settled in Haldwani. She draws upon her family’s history of trade from Europe to China. Visualising greater business opportunities in Bombay, the family moved there. Born in 1950 and after having four sons and five grandchildren, Satbir gets a laptop and turns to writing.

Her pampered childhood apart, her parents and especially her grandfather doted on Satbir’s every whim, gave importance to good education. All this, however, takes a back seat when it comes to marriage. What she finds shocking is her parents think nothing of her wishes, choices and ambition of becoming a Doctor. They are anxious and keen to get her married into a good family after which it is for her husband and in-laws to take a call. It seemed like a child marriage taking precedence over everything else. The heartbroken girl chokes on her sobs rendered helpless.

The love of nature and frequent trips to Haldwani, Nainital and companionship of books soon enabled her to rise above this adversity and find a new purpose in life. Her father-in-law instilled new confidence in Satbir after her mother-in-law’s death. She learnt to take problems head on and not ponder on petty issues. She always valued and emphasised the need for good education.

She recalls that her grandfather was a highly learned and powerful man in Haldwani and its Municipal Commissioner for 18 years. ‘Bauji” as Satbir called her grandfather lived like a tough patriarch and people looked up to him. He was autocratic with most men. But women he respected and felt protective towards them. Though she never actually saw he knocked off a bottle of scotch every night with nearly a kilo of chicken or mutton curry.

Her father was the kindest man she had ever met in her life, most generous, hard working, humble and honest. There was more power in his compassion, more strength in his soft eyes than Bauji’s high handed autocratic demeanour. Satbir’s father had done MA from Allahabad University and attained a Law degree from Lucknow in 1950. One of his law teachers had been Dr Shankar Dayal Sharma who went on to become the President of India.

While in St Teresa’s Convent in Bombay books taught Satbir about life, people, acceptance and became her emotional crutch later in life. “I felt nothing was impossible as knowledge gave you an edge over everything. What changed her whole perception was an incident that happened in class ten. Geetanjali Mahendra too was a good friend. She was the niece of the famous music director Madan Mohan. Geeta went on to become the famous actor Anju Mahendroo who was Rajesh Khanna’s partner for eight years.

About 65 Km from Haldwani was the historical place where Guru Nanak Devji had come during his sojourns and had a dialogue with the followers of the “Gorakh Matt”. This place was of historical importance for Sikhs and Bauji with some friends decided to get it restored to the Sikh community. Thereupon Bauji engaged the services of Gobind Ballabh Pant, an eminent lawyer who belonged to Haldwani and went on to become the first Home minister of independent India.

Satbir studied in Sophia College. Her father told her that Bauji wanted her to be married into a good family and that is how it is going to be. During a taxi ride her father told her “nothing we do or say will make a difference; what Bauji wants only will be done. So you better change your mind. You will not be able to complete your graduation as people are after us with proposals for you and we’ll be getting you engaged soon.”

After that life was a duty to be fulfilled. “From then on I lived to be a good daughter, a good wife, a good daughter-in-law, a good grandmother, a good cook, a good teacher, a good tailor, a good nurse, a good businesswoman, a good advisor, a good financial balancer and what else. I could not forgive daddy for what he did to me for a very long time. I believed he should have stood by me. I wondered how my mother sat by me and let my only aim in life be burst like bubble. She was always the militant one; daddy was too reticent and docile.”

Satbir’s fiancé Balbir did not want her to complete graduation because women should not be more qualified than their husband. “I swallowed the pride as the ritual refrain from my parents was now that is your house, you have to do whatever they say etc…”

She got married in 1968 and moved to Delhi as her husband disliked Bombay. For Satbir Karol Bagh was like no place she had not experienced before. She had read up thoroughly all about sex in books.

After two weeks Balbir decided to go on a honeymoon to Ooty. The two days that they spent in Bangalore really broke the ice between them over a shared beer. The treatment meted out to women was not any different than the rest of the country, except compared to Bombay there was too much hypocrisy. On the whole Satbir had enjoyed life with Balbir and the negatives were very few.

After 48 years Satbir found her closest, long lost friend Komal. They were inseparable and their focus was on studying medicine. Before the school final exams, Komal’s father was suddenly transferred to Madras. Satbir did not remember if she told Komal about her u turn on pursuing medicine. Satbir lost contact with Komal. Decades went by but Satbir never stopped thinking of Komal.

Then the miracle happened. At a dinner that her cousin Honey had organised for her friends from Asansol, Satbir discovered that she was conversing with the sister of Komal’s father. Komal and her husband, both doctors, had settled in Baltimore in the US.

When Satbir said “hello …Komal this is Satbir, we were at St Theresa’s….” she cut in “Satbir, Satbir I’ve been trying to locate you forever.” Komal made an impromptu visit to India. She asked Satbir for a rendezvous at the airport. “We hugged and in that miraculous and magical moment nearly five decades simply evaporated. Komal told my son our emotions will do the talking.”

After spending two glorious nights together, expressing much gratitude to the divine power that brought them together. God finally made it possible for Satbir to reunite with Komal. That is why they said that God Loves Foolish People!!!” Satbir perhaps feels it is good idea to dream for who knows wishes can always come true…

 (T R Ramachandran is a senior journalist and a political analyst.)

T R Ramachandran

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