Fatal attraction
I am sexually attracted to my boss and I do not know how to deal with it. My boss is married and has a family. However, he does not seem to be happy and he does complain about his marriage to me. He shares his problems with me and recently I have been enjoying the time I spend with him. He takes me out for dinner and showers me with presents. I enjoy the extra attention that I get from him and he does give me the green signals, but I do know that he is a married man and my boss. How do I draw the line between us? If I do not do this soon then I may not be able to control my emotions. I really cannot afford leaving this job.
Ans: You need to weigh the pros and cons of the situation. The obvious pros of this situation are that you feel valued and good about the whole situation wherein you are able to spend time with your boss. The flip side is that he is married and possibly not ready to commit to you but spend time as he is unhappy in his marriage. Decide whether you are okay being a second choice to him. Speak to him about his intentions which are confusing and get your answers. If there is a genuine possibility of a relationship in future his answer should suffice. Also answer this for yourself whether it is purely sexual attraction or there are emotions attached to it.
Also Read: Agony Aunt deals with problems at work place
Unable to cope
Three days ago I started working in a new department of the company I was already working in. I had claimed to my higher authorities that I was capable of handling this department and so they gave me this new department to handle single-handedly. We recently started a new project for the department and I gave my subordinates their duties. It all seemed fine until I just figured out that the work experience that is required to manage this department is something beyond me. Now what should I do? Should I discuss this with my well trusted subordinates, take their help and continue running this department or should I be honest with my authorities and tell them that I am under qualified to manage it and just quit? Please help me solve my dilemma.
Ans: Your authorities would have given the responsibilities to you with consideration and deliberation. If you feel under confident to handle it single handedly then taking help of your team doesn’t seem to be a bad idea. You can learn on the job, work on your skills and also ask for timely feedback from your subordinates as well as authorities. You can come clean with your authorities and also assure them that you will work hard and prove your worth. You can also ask for help from them in times you get stuck in any project.
Also Read: Agony Aunt-Working it out
Workaholic
I am a married woman and I have always been a workaholic. I cannot sit idle. However, my in laws do not like it and they have been forcing me to stay at home. My husband was completely aware about my nature and he clearly told me that he was fine with me working after marriage, but things have changed. I am being forced to leave my work as my parents too are not supporting me now. I feel worthless as all my life I studied to work and earn well. Now it is all been taken away.
Ans: You need to patiently discuss this with your husband first and then with your in laws, as it’s a fragile matter, it is vital for your future. It is unfair that they are changing their decision now, but there must be something that changes their mind, so a good communication will help you realize what caused the transformation. If it’s genuine, you can consider it and bring in some desired adjustment, like if it’s the time then probably you can try and opt for a part time or take some work home, if it’s the house work then probably you can finish little house work and then leave for your work. So try to find a win-win situation and get your way out of this so that you are not giving up your dreams at the same time maintaining your relation at home.
Sidelined
I have been working in an advertising company for the past 4 years. Recently, there is a new person who has joined at a post that is relatively equal to mine. However, she is someone who has good brand knowledge and is brand conscious herself. Hence, any advice that is related to brands goes through her when actually it has to go through me. I have observed that many times my team takes decisions without informing me because they have already consulted her. I do not like this as it makes me feel worthless. How do I approach my colleague? What if approaching her causes problems?
Ans: In a workplace there are many people and the hierarchy or communication within the system may not be that efficient. The best way to tackle this issue would be to discuss this with your team members and let them know explicitly how the communication should flow regarding brands. Your new colleague may just seem to know more about brands, but your team members should be aware about the fact that you have gained experience in this field over the past few years. You could also discuss your concern with your colleague without making it sound very rude. Unless you do not voice your stance on this, no one will know what you are feeling. You could also take up a few courses that may help enhance your skills and make you more competent. This might help in alleviating feelings of worthless and insecurity. There is always space for more learning and personal growth.
