Shattered dreams
I have moved cities and am staying in Bangalore since a year. I came with big dreams about becoming an editor. I was willing to do anything to climb the ladder – long days, no weekends, odd hours. I’ve had no social life in six months. The competition is getting to me, and all I can think of now, is quitting. Problem is, I fought at home to be here and live by myself and do this job. My family won’t take me back; they’ve made that very clear. Moreover, I don’t want to feel like a failure, and walk away with my tail between my legs. There is no motivation for me to stay, whatsoever. What do I do?
Ans: It seems that you are going through a phase of self-doubt. You came with certain dreams and they may not be what you thought they would be yet. It’s okay to question, it’s okay to feel what you are feeling. You’ve put in so much of yourself in your work that you’ve made yourself choose between your ‘work’ and ‘you’ forgetting that without ‘you’ there is no work. You need to take a breather. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy – a very real fact. I want you to list all the things that made you follow your dreams and read it every morning until you start to believe it again. In the meantime take a class of yoga, pottery, painting, cooking anything that you like. Your mind needs the break, you have to get out of the cycle of worry, anxiety that you’re stuck in. Find that balance again and the best way to do that is a little ‘me’ time.
Take a break
I’ve been working this job that I don’t particularly enjoy, and only took it up because the money was good. I’ve been up to my eyeballs in work for months, and never have time for anything. It’s been ages since I had a beer, or took a girl out on a date, or even visited my family for that matter. Part of me feels like I should quit – what’s the point in making all this money if I can’t even spend it? But another part of me feels like I should stick around – things will get better. I’ve given four years of my life to this job. What is your opinion?
Ans: You seem like you’re secure within your comfort zone and now you’re realising that it’s not enough. On one side you’re satisfied with monetary success, but on the other your personal life has been neglected. At this juncture, you have to prioritise. If you keep going the same way you might be headed for a burn out, which later on may make you averse to work in general. If you feel you have a financial cushion, this is the best time to try your hand at something else within or outside your work field that excites you. If you don’t, then you most definitely should expand your horizon work wise and see if you can change your team or division and go on from there. But a change will definitely do you good. Don’t forget that you are your best friend and you have to take care of yourself first, so go have that beer and go out.
Jumping jobs
I am a 37 year-old man, and can’t seem to be able to hold a job for more than a few months, sometimes even a few weeks. I get easily bored of the same kind of work, and need something new constantly. Since I started working, when I was 20, I have been a content writer, an advertisement employee, a marketing agent, a sales employee, a receptionist, an investment banker, a real estate agent, and recently quit my job as a secretary. I know that this looks awful on my CV, and have become extremely unemployable. I do want to work, and want to be able to receive one of those “ten years of dedicated service” awards. How can I attain my goal?
Ans: I understand that your major concern is monotony. You need short-term goals to keep you going and prefer exercising your mind in different ways. You have come to the realization that changing fields and your job description is not working for you. There are of course fields more suited to your needs like freelancing; being part of short projects or media type fields, where no single project lasts for too long. Further, if you feel like you suffer from loss of concentration, lack of motivation, restlessness or sleep disturbances you may want to consult a professional about Adult Attention Deficit Disorder.
