The cheat sheet
I am in a relationship with a guy who I know since 10 years. Since the beginning, we always had a soft spot for each other, even when we were in a relationship with other people. While my partner was in his last relationship, we started growing close and he deserted his last relationship out of nowhere. He has a long history of cheating, however, recently he has started doubting my fidelity and projecting his insecurities on me. How should I handle this situation?
You have drawn your conclusion of him projecting his insecurities onto you, which may not help make an objective decision. Despite being aware of his cheating tendencies you have decided to pursue this relationship which indicates the severity of your emotions. There seems to be a long overdue conversation revolving around the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship, specially, the trust that still needs to develop. Encourage your partner for this conversation, so that, unresolved issues from past do not hamper the present and the future of your relationship.
Friends turning foes
My closest friend and I have been having too many differences lately. We fight over everything and I have started getting negative feelings towards her. I do not feel like including her in plans or texting her when something good or bad happens. It is very hurtful for me because I do not want our friendship to die. I have tried finding the reason why this is happening, but I just cannot put my finger on any one. How do I rekindle our friendship? Is there any hope to be even considering working on this in the first place or should I just accept the situation as it is?
The fights that take place in a relationship are indicative of certain emotions left unexpressed or misinterpreted. You wish to continue the friendship but it is essential to identify the reason why there are so many fights in the first place. Also the concept of toxic relationship is important to understand as many a times we misplace our emotional connect despite there being an existing issue. Communication is the first pillar to shake when it comes to having issues in a relationship of any sorts. Thus, try and establish a communication channel that addresses the problems you both are facing with each other. Salvaging a relationship requires efforts from both the ends.
‘Dil’ & the dilemma
I have been in a relationship since almost a year and a half. I want to spend my life with my partner because he is very pure at heart and he loves me more than anything. However, I come from a very strict family background and my parents would never allow as the boy’s family is not as strong as us financially. I, myself have lately started doubting if my decision to talk to my parents about this boy is right or not because of our different family backgrounds. Do you think love is enough to create a life together?
Love is an important construct in any given relationship. It depends on an individual’s needs and requirements in life that determine whether love is enough for sustaining the relationship. It is important for both of you to determine the important elements in your relationship apart from love and whether both of you are willing and able to invest in it. Different family backgrounds if kept as a parameter for the success or failure of a relationship might lead to regrets if not dealt with properly. Thus, identify why do you think your relationship will work despite real or perceived differences.
Distressing differences
I have been in a relationship for three years now. In the past one month, we have realised that we both are extremely different and we have a number of unresolved issues. We do not want to let go because there is a huge sense of attachment. I am also scared of how much the separation will hurt. However, we cannot move forward due to these issues and we do not know where to begin the alteration in our habits process. I am not sure where to begin with given our circumstances. Please help.
g The relationship has its own share of pros and cons. Emotional attachment and the sense of belongingness often make it difficult to look at things objectively. You both have realized that you differ on certain grounds and are trying to make this work because there is fear of loss. Loss of any kind would be difficult to begin with however the loss will also eliminate the stress and anxiety that is present at the moment in the relationship. Past 3 years compared to 1 month might outweigh however, you can begin by taking few couples counselling session so that you know you have worked towards it. Couples counselling will give a perspective to things that have gone unnoticed due to complete focus on differences and unresolved issues.
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