Agony Aunt: My boss has begun praising my junior and I’m jealous

Agony Aunt: My boss has begun praising my junior and I’m jealous

Dr Anjali ChhabriaUpdated: Wednesday, May 29, 2019, 01:41 AM IST
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Effects of jealousy 

I am very unhappy with my boss who has begun to praise another colleague of mine. She joined the organisation much after I did and is one of my juniors. Till now, I was the shining star of the workplace and would get all the accolades. But now, since the time she has started working well and getting more work successfully, our boss keeps appreciating her efforts and that makes me feel extremely jealous. So much that it is affecting my performance negatively. What do I do? I don’t want to feel this way but can’t seem to help it.

Ans: Acknowledging your negative feelings is very essential as it helps us face the issue at hand in a more practical manner. There is a strong sense of replacement that is reflected in your narration which is causing you immense displeasure. It is important for you to work on this insecurity that is trickling down in other areas of your life as well. A professional can help you work on this insecurity. Alternatively, providing validation to self on regular basis also helps in diminishing the need to rely on others for the same.

Feeling discarded

My superiors have asked me to join a group for a project. I was initially excited to be a part of the project, but after a week of being with the group I realised that they have already divided most of the work amongst themselves and I hardly have any part to play. I feel disappointed and disheartened about not contributing anything substantial to the project. I have been feeling low due to this since the project has begun. What do I do?

Ans: A group usually functions with the help of a leader who would be instrumental in delegating the tasks. Communicating your concerns with respect to the amount of work to be done by you would be an essential step towards getting this resolved at the earliest. Introspection is a good thing and a lot of times help us to improve as well. However, we may also become self-critical which often leads to such negative conclusions as not being good enough for a given task. Thus, it is essential to rule this out as a possibility before taking any decision.

The ‘break’ blues

Hello, my job involves taking calls of people and helping them out with their queries. This can become chaotic as there are continuous calls at times without any break. I like my job. However, due to the nature of the job, often I and my colleagues are not allowed to take a break (to eat) for long hours. At times, we start our day as early as 7 am and are not allowed a break till 2 pm. I have spoken to the HR as well as the manager of our team, but to no avail. At this rate, we won’t be able to give our best and will suffer health-wise too. I don’t understand how do I change this situation?

Ans: The situation that you are in seems difficult and unlikely to change unless the management makes radical changes that are favourable to all. Since you have already tried approaching the HR and manager which hasn’t helped, you may now try and speak to your colleagues who are going through the same treatment as you. Collectively approaching the management could lead to a larger impact thereby result in certain concrete changes. In case all your efforts see no positive result, you could also opt at looking for a new job that is convenient in timings as well as work ethics so that you are less stressed.

The lazy newbie 

We have a new recruit in our team. Our manager has recruited her recently to help us with our new project. However, none of us (team members) believe that she has any potential or any interest. She lacks the basic understanding that is required to work in the project and is extremely lazy to do the trivial stuff that we can delegate to her. Hence, she is almost ineffectual for us, and at times feels like a liability to the team. We don’t know what to do with her.

Ans: The complaints regarding the particular team member can be put forward to the manager on the basis of the lack of skills and productivity necessary to carry on the tasks allotted. Since the manager has hired the person for the project, having an effectual discussion around delegation of tasks based on the proficiency of the person can be helpful. This way the manager may end up increasing his awareness and vigilance regarding the team member’s accomplishment of tasks and also monitor the same for future.

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