Break up ke baad…
I recently broke up with my boyfriend. It was a bad break-up because my parents are strict and they did not like him. I did not fight my parents because I knew it was never going to work out in the first place. I had always told my boyfriend the reality that we did not have a future so that he does not get too attached. However, we got attached and he still finds ways to speak to me. I turn it down every time by blocking him because I want to keep my parents happy and get out of this mess. At the same time, I feel extremely bad and guilty because he is in a bad state. I want to get over him and I hope he is happy in his life too. What should I do to feel better?
The emotional state that both of are experiencing at the moment is quite influential on your behaviour towards each other. You have functioned from a space of practicality and he is functioning from a space of emotionality which is probably why you are finding it difficult to let go of the guilt associated with your decision. You are attempting at a situation, in which you are aiming at happiness of everybody involved. This may not be entirely possible at every given point in time, as there are individual differences among the people concerned. You are doing everything within your capacity to maintain a distance from him so give it some time for him to also get accustomed to this process.
Just jealousy
I introduced my best friend to my cousins. Recently, she got close to them. She speaks to them over text and over call. She lately had a 2 hour phone conversation with one of them. I don’t have a problem with her getting close to them but at the same time I get jealous. I cannot understand why I feel jealous. I have not told her anything and I act very normal but I feel she low key knows that I feel a bit weird about them getting so close. Can you help me understand why I feel this way and what should I do to feel better and accept them getting close?
You are expressing the feeling of being left out and also somewhere experiencing a possible threat to the equation that you share with your cousins and the new formed equation that your friend shares with them. This could probably be stemming from your set of insecurities which might get triggered off whenever there is a negative experience in this case the closeness of your friend with your cousins. You could speak to your friend as well your cousins so that there is some insight into your behaviour and feelings on their part and you feel more in control of the same.
Mother and the mess
My mother and I have a good relationship. Recently, there were some issues in my family due to me talking to a person my parents did not like. I stopped talking to the person, and I am trying to distract my mind so that I don’t feel bad about it but she brings that topic up every day. I understand she’s paranoid but it disturbs me that she brings it up to remind me that I should not speak to him when I have already stopped. I am trying to get over that topic completely because it affects me and she keeps mentioning it every single day. What should I do?
Your parent’s concerns especially your mother’s constant worry about you still interacting with the person they dislike needs to be addressed. As per your description, you have already broken ties with the said person and hence it would be quite frustrating for you to keep hearing time and again about the same. Articulating the very same fact to your mother that her concern is bordering over-concern which is a cause of worry for you could help in bringing about a change.
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