Indecisive about future
I’m studying in my final year at a prestigious college. Currently, I’m in a dilemma. I am pursuing psychology as my major and wish to get admission in a renowned institute. For the same, I have cleared the first round and am awaiting the results for the second round. Although I performed well, I can’t be sure that I will clear this round as the seats are limited and there are too many applicants. Simultaneously, I applied for a job offer in Bangalore and got through. I have to join in May and I get to know about my admission in the institute only by mid May. If I commit to work and later get to know that I got the admission, it will be unprofessional to leave job. What should I do?
Ans: There is approach-approach conflict that is holding you back from making a sound decision. Start with pros and cons of both these opportunities and the readiness to be in each situation. For instance if the admission doesn’t take place and you have already taken up the job, things sort out on their own. You can re-apply for work or the institute in future if both are working out for you simultaneously. If you feel that work can happen at later stage but getting admission can’t, then take a call once you have confirmation of admission. You can speak to your work place authorities your situation and excuse yourself.
Also Read : Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems
Showing unfriendly behaviour
I moved to Mumbai 3 years back to pursue higher studies. Before that I was studying in a reputed school in Baroda. Initially, I had some trouble adjusting to the new city and making friends. But gradually things fell into place. I have made some really good friends here now. However, 3 months back, I made the conscious decision of distancing myself from one of my friends. The reason for doing so is that her behaviour had started to affect me negatively. She was not a happy person; she would be depressed much of the time and often refuse to come out with us. She also had a suicidal tendency and would often harm herself physically. After 8 months of knowing her closely, I couldn’t take it any more as her behaviour would make me feel low. She was very close to me at a certain point and I feel very guilty of deliberately distancing myself from her. Off late, I end up crying profusely without reason and keep thinking of her being lonely and depressed. Please tell me what am I to do?
Ans: The guilt seems to be misplaced here as you are blaming yourself for something that isn’t your fault. Personal safeguard is as important as safeguarding others interest and well being. You have merely done that, and it is in terms of your own mental health. You can refer her to some professional help or involve her family and do your bit as a friend. Keep in touch with your friends and family and talk to them about what is bothering you so that their support can help you come out of this as soon as possible.
Read More : Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems
Travelling vs. Career
I have just completed my Bachelor’s and before I do anything further, I would like to take a gap year. I have always wanted to travel and I have a long list of books I would like to read and do all the things that I didn’t have time to do while I was studying and science and engineering took up a lot of my time. The problem is that if I do take a gap year, I would be behind a year academically. This would make everything I have planned to do to be delayed by a year. But I really want to take this year off to figure things out. Sometimes I wonder if I really want to continue in the same field as the one I am pursuing or do I want to pursue something else. Please help me sort out this confusion as I don’t know what the right step is for me.
Ans: Exploring the options that you have at hand can be thrilling and same time overwhelming at the same time. But the plunge needs to be taken if you wish to look back at your life with no regrets. Agreed that the gap year will put a year behind your friends academically but it also gives you an opportunity to gain experience which may not happen if you follow conventional way. Your plans can alter at any given stage in life as different experiences would bring about different perceptions. The right step would be the one that makes you happy at the end of the day. And if exploring the options is the way to do it then lagging behind by a year won’t make a huge difference.
