Fearing to speak up
I work as an assistant manager in a good renowned multinational company. I am very content with my work profile, but my boss is the problem. I am a young, unmarried girl and we have extreme work hours at times. I have felt in the past that during late hours my boss has tried to pass sexual comments on me and I am very scared to address this to anyone. Since it is my boss I do not know who to report this to, as he is the senior and, the employees above him are far way up in hierarchy to get in touch with, and with the HR department I am not too familiar to discuss such private matters. It has been only two to three times that he did this and that too very subtlety I am not sure should even bring this to anyone notice. Please suggest as to what I can do, as I am worried this will turn into something huge.
Ans: This is very serious matter and please handle this cautiously, not to sound discouraging but you’ll have to watch what steps you take against this as it can backfire on you. However, it is essential that you treat this situation as alarming and do not take it lightly, do not ignore the warning sign before you invite and trouble take wise steps and get this sorted immediately. Probably the ideal person here to consult will be your colleagues. As bizarre it may sound if your fellow trust worthy female colleague, as for all you know she has experienced it too and if that’s true you can get some support to stand against him and approach the seniors without hesitation. Otherwise you can try to approach the serious person who is a female as she will be likely to empathize with you and help you out. Whatever you choose to do make sure that the matter still remains confidential and it is resolved amongst the people you seek help from. Also if you think it is too much to handle please feel courageous and seek help from higher authorities or even police if needed. Be watchful about yourself, leave the job if you think it appears very difficult to handle, at time self-worth is more important than career growth.
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Balancing career & culture
I really need a wise opinion immediately, as I have got an opportunity to transfer abroad to China for the betterment of my career and I am supposing to take this call in a week time. I would love to migrate for a bigger pay roll and work conditions, as the perks they provide are very attractive but since it is very diverse from our country I am not feeling very self-assured to move there. If it was some other country, I would have considered and would be more confident to move as I know few people in those countries. Also my worry is that if I want to start a family I am not very comfortable with the idea that my children should be in china as that will change their cultural grounds and I never pictured my future that way. Please kindly advise as to what should I do?
Ans: You are thinking about the future and that is good, however you are thinking too far-fetched and that is a cause of concern for you. You can take up this offer is it is beneficial for your career growth, it is always exciting to try new opportunities when you are younger and have fewer responsibilities. You can opt for trial and error in a country like china, as yes it is going to be difficult for you to adjust to their culture but you are assuming that you may not be too okay with that, for all you know you may become well adjust as well as do wonderfully well with your work there, it may take a while but it may sort out. If you think you then are going to start a family before that you can always think of moving back to your hometown. You can plan for future in a way that it is going to affect you in next one or maximum two years, but it is not practical to assume thing five or more years from now, that may make things difficult for you in the present time. Live for today can achieve with all that you can give now.
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Family life vs. Office life
I recently quit my job and I did that by choice, as I was getting a better opportunity elsewhere. I have a month before I join the new company as I have finished serving my notice period, and now waiting for a better start. Over the last ten days that I am home I am getting very used to being at home and spending time with my family and I see this difference even in my children who are getting very content about counting their mother in for everything, they are craving for my attention. Now that I will start the new job in few more days the closer the date approaches the more jitters I feel, as over the past days I have enjoyed cooking for my family, getting involved with their daily routine which I usually missed and now I am feeling terribly guilty as well as I feel I like this too. I love my work and it makes me ambitious but I like being a mother and a wife too, and in addition the new job is a little more taxing than the older one. What should I do, how do I make my mind up without the feeling of lose in any way.
Ans: You can probably view this as an eye opener for you, of how a simple time at home can be joyful too, as a family bonding over daily thing can be fun, however you are liking this phase as it is good change from your otherwise routine mundane office work, probably if you continue being at home for too long this too may start feeling very boring. And hence the key is to create a good work home balance, which may be difficult initially as you mentioned you are just going to start with your new job and that can be demanding, but look it up as an opportunity to start a new fresh where in from the very beginning you clearly maintain an equilibrium of work and family time. Try to create this as it will help you to enjoy both perks of playing a role of a mother and wife as well as enjoying your work too and not to make a choice between the two as both are essential areas of our life. However if you think that it is costing too much of your family time especially with your children then you can consider for leaving work and being at home for them as no job is mandatory but a mothers job is always going to be in its place.
