Q: My fiancé has been meeting and possibly even engaging in sex with girls from Tinder. Should I be worried about our future? What if he continues to enjoy such Meet-ups?
A: Tinder or not, having sex after getting engaged to someone – counts as cheating. You should definitely be worried about your future if you expect a monogamous relationship where your man doesn’t sexually engage with other women.
As relationships age, the need to seek ‘new experiences’ comes to the fore. Human beings have rarely been satisfied with what they have. Some see this as greed while others argue that this is what catalyses progress and even innovations in science and the evolution of cultures. How much is too much in this desire for ‘something more’? Does the exploring ever stop? These are questions for the ages.
This ‘hunger’ for ‘something that’s always fresh’ may manifest in a man wanting to experiment sexually with multiple partners. However, you need to ask yourself if you’d like to salvage the situation by communicating your need for him to be loyal to you and the relationship.
In case your method of intervention doesn’t work or you are hesitating to have this conversation with him, perhaps you’d like to consider engaging the services of a marriage counsellor.
(Aman R Bhonsle is a qualified Psychosocial Analyst and a Professional Youth Mentor with specialization in Transactional Analysis and REBT. He is available for consultation at the Heart To Heart Counselling Centre.)