Free Press Journal

Problems Galore: How to deal with problems in personal relationship


Investment gone wrong

 I had a well secured job, and I am very satisfied with my pay and growth but recently I made a bad investment in an impulse, which has caused tremendous financial loss for my family and it will take some time to recover. I have three children who are still studying and I have a lot of responsibilities as I am a single earning member of my family. However, I am already 45 years old and I know I have to secure my future. I am worried for the future of my kids and I do not know how to go ahead with this. My wife and I too have been fighting a lot recently and there is a very negative atmosphere at home. I haven’t yet told my kids about my situation as I know that they will be worried. I am having suicidal thoughts too and I do not know what to do.

Ans: Everybody has few dips in their lives, but you swim through it and you have to stand tall and let it pass. Mean while you develop qualities like being patient and as it it said the older the wiser, this is derived from the belief that the older you are and the more experiences you have which as at time so negative but you make through it and that makes you wiser. This could be your test. Feeling suicidal is alarming and it suggests you should seek help immediately. Aggression is a form of depression and it sudden stroke of difficult time must have affected you and led you to depression , that could be the probably reason for you lashing out at home and feeling so worn out. With guidance from a professional will help you to manage your emotions better and handle this stressful situation more rationally. keeping calm and thinking wisely as this difficult phase of life passes will help you feel more in control, share with your family with your concern, supporting each other at this time makes family grow strong and

Also Read: Personal problem-with Dr.Anjali Chhabria

Coping with son’s ‘coming out’

Two days ago, my son who is 19 years old told me that he is gay and sexually attracted to men. I did not know how to react and I have locked him in the house since then. I am worried of what people will think when they find out about my son who has this problem. I feel ashamed to talk to my friends now. I am disappointed with my son. I gave him the best education and this is what he has given me in return. I feel humiliated and sad. What do I do?

Ans: Your son is not a trophy that you have to show off to your friends and other people around for seeking appreciation. Parents are the first loving human contact that a child feels and understand what affection means. You as a parent has not only shattered his image of a good support system that he must have expected when he shared the news with you, but also made it clear to him that you will love him only under certain conditions. Parents are the example of unconditional love, and you have definitely behaved the opposite. Education has got nothing to do with the genes or the preference of sexual partner that he makes. This is nature and the sooner you accept it the better it will be for both of you’ll. You may not know how people react and all the other external surrounding is not in your hands but what you can do is have a good hearty conversation without being judgemental about your son’s feelings and express your feelings to him rational and try to get to a win-win situation. Over a period of time you can adjust to the situation but honestly rare are the chance that you can force him to change his actually true self. it take courage to come out in open to say something against society if he has taken such a big step and feeling confident about it should be really what he want and will make him happy.

Also Read: Agony Aunt-Dr Anjali Chhabria answers personal queries

No feelings

 I am 20 years old and I am pursuing my graduation in a university abroad. I met this girl a few weeks ago and I got really attracted to her. I asked her out before I left for my graduation and I thought we would be able to do long distance as she is in India and I am in the US. However, it got really difficult and for some reason my love for her died out. Now, I am back in India for holidays and I meet her often. She clearly still has those feelings for me, but I do not. I know that she knows about my stance on this, but she still likes me. I want her to forget about me, but I do not know how to do it. I do not want to give her the wrong signals. What do I do?

Ans: Have a clear conversation about your intentions of keeping a relationship with her. If you are meeting her only for some casual friendship make it evident in your talks and gestures. She has to know about your perception of the current relationship you’ll share. beyond that if she still has feelings for you more than you can reciprocate, leave it to that, as this something which is out of your control you cannot do anything about it, as far as you have made yourself clear. Once probably she realizes that you do not love her and that you have moved on she may feel the need to do the same and her feelings for you will too eventually fade out. She must have been hopeful to possibly work things work once you return to India, but after you share you thought she may change her mind too. Try to avoid hurting her feelings from the role you are playing currently with her, you don’t need to carry that baggage on your shoulder for you future life.