I am facing a problem in being assertive when it comes to saying no to my colleagues or other social acquaintances for drinking alcohol. I loosen up after having a drink or two and am completely a different man once I am intoxicated. I am free, uninhibited and talk well socially which is opposite to my nature when I am sober. I work with these people and it seems to be difficult to say no each time. But when I drink I can’t control myself. I don’t want to become addicted to alcohol and be weak each time someone offers me a drink. This is affecting my work too as I am constantly worried about what others at work think about me, how my productivity has gone down in past few months due to anxiety. What should I do?
Ans: Firstly, start with seeking out medical attention for the alcohol intake as soon as possible. It doesn’t take much time to get addicted to substance such as alcohol which is easily available and socially used so widely. Being concerned about the negative impacts of alcohol intake on your health is more essential than wondering what others think about you. If you do not drink then that’s your personal choice. In the longer run if you feel that alcohol can make you susceptible to being an addict, it is better to seek help at an early stage than to wait for hitting the rock bottom.
No friends at work
I just joined my office a few weeks ago and my work place is filled with people my age. Every other day after work, they plan on hanging out and they just want to chill when I cannot as my parents are strict and want me home on time. This has made my life at work sad as now everyone has their own fun and inside jokes and I am left alone. I have no friends at work. What do I do?
Ans: This situation reflects the lack of communication between you and your parents. All you need to do is talk to them with good patience and understand their need behind not letting you have the freedom. If it’s the question of your safety it is fair enough that they are worried, but if you assure them that you are friends with good people and have their trust it may help. Don’t be in a rush and gradually be in touch with them over the weekends day time when it is fine for you’ll to go for an outing. Host a lunch at home when the friends come over and that way your parents get to meet them and get friendly and trusting. Even if you are not a part of their outside joke, try to talk to them cordially about different thing, work related or may be even common interest, discuss hobbies and be involved with them with other things.
A different work culture
I am working with this start up production house. I was really excited when I got this job as a product manager and it was a big opportunity for me. However, the reality of the start-up is different. Everybody is always high at work and there is no work that gets done. I cannot adjust in this atmosphere, but I have also signed a contract before I joined. What do I do?
Ans: You seemed confused with the concern you have regarding your work, you sound unhappy with the people at work or you problem is that targets are not achieved. If it’s the people that means you need to get your leadership qualities polished and give direction in a way that will motivate people to bring the required change. You also need to learn to be assertive, so in order to delegate work and if the report to you in efficiently you need to bring to their notice. Talk to the owner and discuss if you can imbibe some repercussions for the misconduct at work just to bring in the discipline factor. If it’s the goals you are worried about, in that case you need built strategy and a good working plan that will help you achieve your target well. You can even think of hiring a consumer psychologist or and industrial psychologist, who will help you to kick start and develop good business plan.
Attracted to boss
My boss is a woman and I am sexually attracted to her and the way she deals with all of us and her business associates. She seems to give me the positive signals too. She is unmarried, young and beautiful. However, I do not know if I should take this ahead. I need to do this carefully because I am putting my job at risk. I am not sure if I should go ahead with this or no. Please guide me.
Ans: You need to be sure whether you want to pursue this relationship solely based on your sexual attraction towards your boss; if there isn’t genuine interest to take the relationship further it might not be wise to jeopardise your professional equation with her. Make sure that you take a call based on how you wish to continue the relationship in the long run rather than focusing on short term benefits.