Obsessed with cleanliness
My wife has been nagging me so much. I recently got married and it was an arranged marriage. Everything seemed perfect about her, but I did not know about her obsession with cleanliness. It has just been 3 weeks since our wedding and I am already tired of her. We constantly bicker and she continuously tells me to keep things at its place. How am I going to live with a woman like this? I am not a messy man compared to my friends, but she makes me feel that I am super untidy.
Ans: This could be either an obsession which is merely a habit and it’s a personality type or if it’s too severe it could be due to an anxiety disorder called as OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). You need to calmly talk to her and get her to trust you that you wish best for her.
Get her in confident and help her to think about the I’ll effects of being so obsessed with cleaning and how it is affecting your relationship with her, which you would like to mend by helping her and be there emotionally if something is troubling her. Offer if she would like to work things out and give her a chance. You should get some sort of help for her and be there, just like you would help her if she had high fever or some other physical ailments similarly this too needs patience but she can change n you can help her. Seek professional treatment if need be and support her.
I recently began dating and my boyfriend has never met my friends. I want to introduce him to my world and to my friends, but he is just too shy. He is really anti-social and I am the only friend he has. He says that he does not like people and he does not see the point of meeting my friends. However, my friends want to meet him. How do I deal with this? What do I tell my friends?
Ans: You can possibly create a win-win situation. It’s fair that your friends are curious and wants to be inbound your life, but that does not give them the right to interfere in his too. If he wants his space, you and your friends should respect the same. Take it slow, talk often about your friends to him so he gets familiar with all of them. Click pictures of yourself and your friends together and show him so he may feel at ease watching you being so comfortable with them. Be open to any conversation he wants to have about your friends and gradually bring to his notice that if he will accept your friends it will make you feel happy as you would like you share the fun time with friends along with him in your life.
Express that you feel unfair as you would always have to choose between spending time with him verses your friends. There are some special occasions like your birthday or some celebration that you would wasn’t both of them as a part of your life. He will emphatically and gradually understand your side, but until then be patient and let him open up to you for the starter.
Feeling restless all the time
I am a 50 year old man. I am well settled. I have two young children who are studying and I am at a senior position in office. Everything is perfect and I am secured, but my mind is still very restless. I just have this feeling that everything will go wrong. I have the fear of things going bad and I do not know if I will be prepared for it. I have to educate my children and if things fall apart then what will I do? My mind always gets diverted to these negative thoughts and I cannot concentrate on my present. Please help?
Ans: You are simply feeling paranoid about your future. Like the saying goes, you don’t want to be a child brooding over your past or be an old man always planning future, feel young live in present, here and now. Yes you have many things to achieve and many destination to reach but it not only the end that will make you happy, there will never be an end as we humans are never satisfied and will always desire, but you can enjoy the journey as well before it’s too late n your physical and mental efficiency begins to decline.
You have everything a good family and financial security so go ahead and have gratitude towards what you have stay in the moment and share your precious time with your family as once your children grows older you might miss their childhood too. If you think all these negative thoughts bother you when you are free and you have nothing to look forward to, build a passion in your life, something you love to do and will help you spend good quality time making you feel revived emotionally. This will help you get that anchor you are looking for in present time.
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