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Agony Aunt: Mother’s work woes

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Mother’s melancholy
I delivered a healthy baby boy three months ago and I couldn’t be less happy about it. My husband is supportive in every possible way. However, in the past month or so I have seen myself losing patience in a fraction of a second and always being irritable. I am gloomy and tired all the time. I am unable to take care of everything at once. Two days ago, I was in such a bad shape that I cried for hours and my husband found me sitting on the bathroom floor simply staring in space. I was seriously contemplating on ending this gnawing pain while I was staring at nothing. Please help!
Ans: The idea of being a mother and actually facing motherhood first hand are very different than what they appear to be. You have also undergone this transition, but lately finding it tough to handle things well. You could be showing early signs of Post Partum Disorder (PPD) which is quite common amongst new mothers. PPD would result in a drastic shift in mood and one would be in a conflict state often due to the same. Should I not be joyous and enjoying motherhood and not be grumpy or tired or be thinking about ending it all? Would be a recurring question. Seeking professional help for firstly evaluating the underline problem and then accordingly dealing with it could help.

Also Read: Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems

Teen’s alarming behaviour
Hello, I am a 17-year-old girl who is studying in the 12th grade. I have been self-harming for the past two years and I now feel the urge to do more than simply cutting myself on the thigh. I made a small cut on my wrist the other day to see how it feels. There is mark left behind, but for some reason, I don’t feel all that good about it. I want to stop behaving this way. Do you think I can be helped?
Ans: Firstly, let me tell you can definitely be helped because you want to help yourself come out of this situation. Secondly, you have identified your feelings towards harming yourself is no longer making you feel good about it thus, a start in breaking the psychological dependency on self-harm. You could contact a psychologist who is locally available or your school counsellor who can help you figure out better alternatives to deal with life stressors.

Fighting financial crisis
I am a 27-year-old guy with a degree in engineering but been working on setting up my own business for the past six years. The startup did well in the first two years but took a hit at the start of third year. I went on with it hoping things would get better, but nothing has changed. I don’t live with my family but have been relying on them for financial support very frequently. I have thought of ending my life every day since the past six months. I don’t know what I am fighting for anymore. But I don’t think I have enough courage to do so.
Ans: I can only imagine how difficult things would have been for you owing to be financially unsettled as well as not being stable with your venture. Many times, due to unforeseeable reasons, things may not pan out the way we want them to. However, making a decision about when to call it quits and look for alternative options is very necessary. It is nowhere to be implied that you are a failure, but make a practical choice when you see things going haywire. The burden of proving yourself is probably a driving force behind you feeling a need to end things for yourself. Let’s try and refocus and re-strategise all that you can think of which can help your business and work accordingly.


Read More: Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems

Friend’s agony
Last year I lost my friend to suicide and it was a major blow to my mental health as we were quite close to each other. I was in therapy for few months after that and I was much better. This year I visited her parents when I was in her hometown and it all came back to me. I feel I am back there and feel miserable about it. What can I do to help me?
Ans: I am very sorry for your loss and I gather it must not have been easy dealing with the tragic news and resuming to routine life without your friend’s presence. From what you have mentioned, you would still require some more time to heal and going back to your therapist would help. Since, you have taken help in the past and become better, approaching your therapist once again and discussing what’s bothering you so that there is closure of some sort.

Mother’s work woes
I am a single mother of a six-year-old child. Lately, I have been getting a lot of flak from my job place as they threaten to terminate my job for every small mistake or no fault of mine. I support my child financially as his father isn’t in the picture at all. Some days I am so fed up with all the responsibilities that I feel like I want to run away and never return. My child is the only reason why I am holding on, but even that is becoming a feeble reason.
Ans: Being a part of a difficult work environment could be quite stressful as you are unsure as to what action of yours might lead to problems. Since there are threats being used, speaking to your HR department and requesting for a performance evaluation to understand what do you need to refine your skills to certain degree, might help. Seeking support with your child’s care from your family members could be a way to reduce your workload and focus more on maintaining this job. However, there is no harm in looking at other prospective jobs as well.