Building own identity
I have been playing with this idea of career change for past few months mainly after turning 40 this year. I have been following my father’s footsteps so far and really want to get out of his shadow but apprehensive at the same time. My current job is quite secure. Is it a wise choice?
Ans: It is understandable that conflict revolves around ‘what I should be doing’ vs ‘what I want to do’. If the thought process will be focused on ‘what ifs’ changes in life seldom take place. Thus, the unnerving thought might be stemming from the uncertainty revolving around the success of this decision. allocate all your passion and resources in this transition and then review your progress rather than assuming the consequences to be a certain way and accordingly putting in efforts.
My boss is quite nasty when it comes to berate someone and this time it was me. I am emotionally very sensitive and hence it affected me a lot. I displaced anger at home which I realised was wrong. I can no longer stand his attitude but can’t quit. What can I do?
Ans: Often we stick to a toxic environment because we have set expectations that things will not work out for us if we try and look outside the environment: this is self-fulfilling prophecy. Having a meeting with your boss and narrating your concern could at least make him aware that his approach is not constructive. This step would also reflect that you can’t be pushed around just because of difference in the hierarchical positions.
Work affecting family
I am a finance professional working for an International Brand. Owing to the work environment I have to be ruthless and aggressive to get the work done. My husband is getting affected by this attitude change and result is fights. My work place is happy with my performance but at the same time my house is falling apart. How do I stop this?
Ans: The changes in your personality have taken place over a period of time and have been sculpted as per job requirements, thus making these traits malleable as well. Trying to understand that certain traits can’t be generalised might save you from being the same person at home as you are in office. Once this is achieved, you can focus on the relationship and with the help of your husband re-establish the relationship as well.
My colleagues want me to join a union that they are proposing. The purpose of the union is to fight against policies of the organisation that we work for. I have always been a pacifist by nature and find it difficult to indulge in conflict and confrontation. I’d rather just let things go than take a stand. I do not like this about me but that’s who I am. I would like to change this nature of mine and do not know how to. Please help
Ans: The need to stand up against the organisation is intense as well as the apprehension to do so is also high. You wish to become assertive and this has nothing to do with whom you extend your support towards. If you feel the protest can be executed in a better manner contribute your ideas and extend support. There is a middle ground to two extreme situations and thus holding your ground for what you believe in is very important.
Need for success
I am a 45-year-old man working as a Sales Manager in a good company. I have climbed the work hierarchy very systematically and have always been honest in my work. Lately, I feel very stifled as there is no advancement. I don’t know where I went wrong in taking up opportunities. I need some guidance in terms of not stressing so much and being content with work.
Ans: The discontent revolves around being stuck in the current work position which is not bringing in stress as well. You mentioned about not knowing which opportunities you might have missed, however knowing the answer to that may not help you move forward. rather, if you could find someone at your workplace who is experienced or someone from the similar work background outside work, and discuss this issue, they might be able to suggest or at least help you look into a direction of advancement. At times it may happen that you might not identify an opportunity or think that you are probably late for such a chance, and in times like these an external perspective helps. seeking advice from an experienced senior could be a good start.