Free Press Journal

Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems


Fear of breaking up

I am in a relationship, with this girl since the past eight months. Everything was great, however off late we’ve been fighting a lot and since the past month my girlfriend is behaving differently and has been consciously trying to distance herself from me. I fear that at this rate she might break up with me and I don’t think I will be able to take it. She has hinted a couple of times on ending the relationship. I really don’t want to lose her. What should I do. Please help.

Ans: You are focusing mainly on the behaviour pattern of your girlfriend which is indicating that she would soon break up with you. Having an open communication with her regarding the doubts that you are having should answer few nagging questions such ‘is she distancing herself from me?’, ‘does she want to break up with me?’ etc. Be sure whether she is hinting at break up or pointing out that there is something missing in the relationship. talking out about your insecurities generally helps in dealing with them better than keeping it to self and imagining worse possible scenarios.

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Lacking interest in work  

I am a 25-year-old girl who graduated with a BMS degree. I was placed with a good job from campus. Initially I enjoyed it but after just 4-6 months in the job, I started to get bored of it. I couldn’t cope with the monotony of the job and decided to switch. In my second job, following a similar patter as the previous one the thrill and excitement fazed out and I switched jobs again a year later. Currently in my third job I’m facing the exact same situation. It’s been 5-6 months at this job and I’ve already put in my papers to leave the job. However, I don’t know where I’m going next from here, I don’t have another job lined up for me. Also, I realise this isn’t healthy, but I can’t continue doing something I dislike. Please help me.

Ans: In order to identify why this pattern exists it is essential to meet up with a professional who can help you get to the root cause of this recurring issue of job hopping. Once you can at least understand the major cause for such change of mind, you can constructively work towards not letting it affect your next job performance. Before you take up another job, work on yourself and get an understanding rather than getting into the same pattern again. Having an open mind towards what is revealed in the process of therapy so that you can make better choices and decisions.

Seeking family support

I am a 55-year-old man, been doing well with all my jobs in life so far. Unfortunately, the industry I’m in, hasn’t been doing so well lately. I’ve been at home looking for a job since a year now and haven’t been lucky enough to find something as yet. Due to this I’ve been getting too frustrated at every little thing and every person at home. My family has been getting annoyed at my behaviour and I’m getting worried that my family will stop loving me because of the failure that I am. What should I do. I need my family to understand me. Please help me with a solution.

Ans: A family intervention is the need of the hour as you want your family to be understanding towards your current situation at work. The fear of being rejected by your family is magnification of the current situation and needs to be worked upon rather than letting it bother you. The frustration at home is displacement of emotions which can also be channelized once you explain the pattern to your family. the aim is to get them to be understanding and not reactive towards your current state and if this is conveyed effectively, you can achieve your goal.

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Feeling neglected

I live in a joint family, and lately I’ve been feeling very neglected with everyone at home. I know my family loves me and there hasn’t been any specific reason for me to feel this way. But I’ve being feeling very alone, and I feel like I have no one to talk to even though I live with so many people at home. I’ve even tried to make conversation with people at home, but I’ve still been feeling empty from the inside. I don’t like this feeling I want to stop feeling this way. Its irritating me even more because I know there isn’t a specific reason for it. Please make me with this. 

Ans: The feeling of alienation despite being amongst people could be a sign of underlying sadness which needs to be investigated. You have mentioned that there is no apparent reason but feelings like these surfaces due to triggers at times not comprehended at a conscious level. Seeking some therapeutic help for trying to understand the sudden change in feelings could help you deal with the situation better rather than being in a constant state of not knowing/understanding.