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Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems

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Money matters

I moved in with my current roommate two months ago. Initially, we worked well by dividing the chores, but as time elapsed, she started slacking and would put up the tasks onto me with some excuse or the other. I didn’t realise this earlier, but she has been not paying for things which both of us need. She has been avoiding the conversation revolving around the money aspect as well as she owes me few thousand rupees. I am not sure how to work it out with her without creating a rift.

Ans: The time lapse isn’t too much to lay down the ground rules of how you wish to live with your roommate. Have a conversation with her assertively and set a deadline as well for her to repay the money she owes you. Sit down together to divide the household chores as well so that you don’t feel burdened each time. There will be some friction as you are calling out on her behaviour, but only because you wish things to resolve amicably you can’t let your guard down and be taken for granted.


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Friends with benefits

I am a 7th grader and a part of the popular group of children. I have been friends with these people only for a few months. As someone who was not their friend, I always wanted to be part of this group to experience what it was like to be able to be popular; but now that I am, I realise it doesn’t feel very nice to be mean and hurt someone. They are mean to the other children and a menace in class. Now my old friends do not talk to me at all as they think I have become like these mean friends. I don’t want to be friends with mean people, but now they are my only friends. I do not know how to leave this group and win my old friends back or get myself to be not mean.  

Ans: The realisation you have about not being mean is the first step towards redeeming your past actions. The people whom you have hurt in past will need something concrete to believe into. Your initial actions might not be noticed that well but this shouldn’t discourage you from taking the steps to be who you wish to be.

Long distance relationship

I started dating my current boyfriend last year. This relationship started by me cheating on my ex. I have been noticing few changes in our relationship as he keeps mentioning about having personal space. I think I am losing him in the whole long distance relationship. This has happened previously as well and I am scared that if things don’t work out well with my boyfriend, I might take impulsive decisions again. 

Ans: There is a strong tendency in your personality traits to avert situations that become too difficult to manage. the previous failure in the relationship could be attributed to this trait as well. The current relationship might have issues but doesn’t necessarily have to go down the same path. You can discuss the issues with your boyfriend and simultaneously work on your expectations from a relationship as well. This could help work better in the times of difficulties that arise in a relationship.

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Dealing with parents’ separation

I am a 16-year-old girl, I have always had a great family environment and very loving parents. I recently overheard my parents talk about getting separated/ divorced. I cannot imagine why they would want to do that, but I feel shattered, as I have always looked up to them as a being the ideal couple. I am disappointed and heartbroken that they have not only decided to do this but have not told me about it.

Ans: The disappointment maybe stemming from the fact that your idea of a perfect couple is somewhere shattered. Your parents are individuals who are also allowed to make errors. The image that you have regarding your parents has crumbled which is hurting and with the added fact that they hid this from you. Since you found it without them telling you, it could be a possibility that they were fearing your reaction. Now since you know this, talk to them and understand this whole news from their end so as to get an overall picture.