Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems

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Spiritual detachment

Me and my husband were together for a long time before we got married. It was a love marriage and both the families were accepting. We have different spiritual ideologies. This was never a problem until we had a child. Since we live with his parents, I am unable to completely and freely give my spiritual ideology to my child and that makes me feel lost and detached from my child. 

Ans: Having a conversation about this with your husband is essential as he is instrumental in bringing about the balance between the two spiritual practices. The discussion needs to be about the importance of inculcating few values in your child’s life and not upholding one religion over the other. As long as line of discussion is clear, the chances of getting across your point are also high.

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Social isolation

As a teenager who does not enjoy clubbing and partying I face a lot of bullying and social isolation. I do not wish to succumb to peer pressure, but I end up feeling quite lonely and not understood. I do not know how to take my stand and feel good about it. 

Ans: The social circle where you are comfortable should be the preferred one rather than the one you think should be accepted just because others are following it. You can find people with similar interests and stand by your choice in terms of socialising.

Fallout with best friend

My best friend and I had a sudden fallout. She suddenly distanced herself from me without telling me what went wrong. I am now left feeling broken and very upset as I do not have too many other friends in college. She ignores me in college and so do most of our common friends. I now hate going to college or meeting any friends and feel constantly upset and sad. I do not know how to break out of this, move on and feel happy. 

Ans: The fallout has affected you emotionally and is taking a toll on your day to day functioning, for this to stop there needs to be steps taken towards getting better. This will happen only if you resume your daily activities and not let that part of you be affected with the friend’s issue. This will also help you establish new relations and meet new people. Also keeping aside the thought that you need to know the reason of the fallout will also help in coming out of this state sooner.

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Stifling relationship

My relationship with my boyfriend started out well. After 3 months, he started getting very insecure and clingy. He gave me hate for going on a girls trip with my friends and enjoying it. He wanted me to spend all my time with him leaving me feeling claustrophobic in this relationship. I want to end it but I’m scared of what he’ll do when I tell him that.

Ans: You have a responsibility towards yourself as much as you consider being responsible towards others. In this scenario, your boyfriend is creating an environment which is making you feel uncomfortable and thus if you wish to break up with him, communicate to him about the reason as well. being fearful about his actions and being in a relationship will eventually be detrimental to both.

Lack of support

I am a 13-year-old boy who enjoys folk dancing. I have been taking part in a lot of competitions at school. The boys in my class mock me for this. A lot of my guy friends stopped hanging out with me too. I have been called names and bullied as well. Even my family is not very supportive about my dancing. They are worried about what people will say. I really wish to pursue this hobby and get trained for the same, but I do not want to lose all my friends or make my parents unhappy.

Ans: The journey towards embracing what makes you happy and what would make others happy is always a difficult one as most of the times we chose others over our own selves. this leaves us with a bitter feeling towards them and thus the whole relationship becomes conditional. You choosing the dance form which gives you immense pleasure need not be discarded due to how others view it. Your choice will be appreciated if you continue in it and chose to better in it rather than give up.

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