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Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems

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Disobedient Son

I am a mother of a 12-year-old boy. He has a hearing disability but refuses to wear an aid as he thinks his friends will tease him. I have tried explaining to him that it is essential to wear one so that he can hear better and thus respond better. I am not sure how else to get through him. Please help.

Ans: Kids in this age develop a lot of complexes around how they look and how their friends perceive them to be. Your son might be facing difficulties on the lines of not being able to relate to others due to his disability and would want to overcome the shame by giving up on the hearing aid. Try and work with him on the emotional aspects rather than emphasizing the importance of wearing a hearing aid. If he sees he is understood at an emotional level, things would become easier for him to accept as well.


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In the wrong company

I am a 23-year-old boy and have been struggling with substance abuse. I wish to leave it but being unable to do so. My girlfriend, friends and everyone in my circle is deeply involved in this culture of abusing drugs. If I were to be in an environment devoid of drug abuse, then I would have to make a set of new friends. I believe that this habit of mine has led to conflict and confusion in my thinking process. It has also made me more irritable and aggressive and I fear that I might eventually need to be admitted in a rehab. 

Ans: Abusing drugs or being prudent about the habits that one forms depends entirely on the self-conviction and standing up for the conviction when needed. If your friends prefer using drugs and you are unable to relate to them than adapting to what they do isn’t an answer. You can find a like-minded set of friends and you can still be friends with your current group of friends. since you wish to give up drugs, it is a sign that you are into it just because it has most of your friends and your girlfriend involved in it as well. You will be giving up drugs for your betterment and in the process, there will be an advice to stay away from any influential crowd, however, once you gain confidence of not succumbing to peer pressure, true friends will still be there for you.

 Love taking toll on career

I am in a relationship with this guy for past two years. We share a rented apartment. I am a model by profession and haven’t been able to get work since the past few months due to my boyfriend’s controlling behaviour. I don’t have enough money to go back home and I don’t wish to be with him anymore as he is emotionally and physically abusive towards me. He is married and has children as well. How can I come out of this?

Ans: The abuse is something which can be reported to the cops as it is an offence. The relationship has too many cracks and you have reached your tolerance towards the same. Speak to your family members back home and request for some financial help for time being or contact your close friends to seek some help to at least get out from the house and start a life without your boyfriend. In the meantime, try and find a part time job till the time you get new modelling assignments. This will help in being financially more independent as well.

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On the wrong way

I have been lately getting suicidal ideation and I am worried about it. This may stem from my past experiences with ex-boyfriend. One of whom has cheated me and robbed me of my money. Also, I discovered my father’s extra marital affair recently. I have a lot of aggression towards him, lost my affection towards him and have completely withdrawn from all my social contacts. Please help!

Ans: The suicidal ideation warrants for immediate attention from a professional who can help you deal with the unresolved issues in a better way. The angst towards your father and the loss incurred in the relationships has somewhere affected your trust on the people in general. This generalisation also needs to be worked upon as it affects the possibility of any potential relationship in future. To begin with, contact a psychologist at the earliest and seek help.