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Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems

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Anything for friendship

I have a strong, tight knit group of friends. We are all in high school studying together. Recently all of our plans have been centred around drinking, partying and smoking, none of which I enjoy partaking in. However, to avoid becoming distant from my friends I do it anyway. I fear being honest with them because I cannot afford to lose them. But I’ve reached a point where I don’t feel like myself anymore. What do I do?

Ans: In a group setting it is easier to lose your individuality in the process of maintaining the group cohesion. The important thing to keep in mind is that it is not imperative to change yourself in order to feel accepted by the group. If you feel out of place talk to them about it and together decide to make plans which do not revolve around things you don’t enjoy doing. Also, it is important to associate yourself with the people who share similar interests as you so as to not feel compelled to change as per people around.


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Regretting own mistake

I am a 20-year-old engineering student. I recently missed out on an amazing opportunity for internship at a reputed company. It was my neglect and I am regretting it. My friends, on the other hand, these amazing packages for the internship. I don’t envy them but feel too dejected that I didn’t get a chance to even appear for the interview. What can I do to feel better?

Ans: One of the good thing is that you are at least able to identify where you faltered and this will help you in being vigilant henceforth. as far as losing out on the opportunity is considered then it is always better to learn from the experience and move further rather than emphasising on the fact that there is an existing problem. Now rather than beating yourself up for the mistake, try focusing on working around the situation and finding yourself other opportunities as an alternate to the internship.

Challenges of relationship

My girlfriend is soon moving to another city for further education. We have been dating for past 8 months but have been pretty serious about each other. She is understanding and very mature for her age and thus speaks about long distance relationship in a practical way that it may not last. I want to give it a shot. How do I convince her?

Ans: You may approach her with this topic of discussion and lay down your point of view towards the long-distance relationship and how you are trying to make it work. Also get her point of view on what makes her think that the long-distance relationship will not work so as to help her ease the fears and apprehensions. It’s important for both of you to be on the same page as far as wanting to continue or discontinue the relationship.

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Longing for Motherhood

I am soon going to turn 38 and I am yet to conceive my first child. I underwent IVF treatment last year but didn’t succeed. I am really looking forward to having a child but somehow physically I am not conducive to carry a baby for full term. My husband doesn’t believe in the treatments anymore. I am at a loss. Please help.

Ans: The medical treatments are one of the kinds of treatment you have opted for so far. there are other options such as surrogacy and even adoption. Both these ways are widely suggested to couples facing problems conceiving the natural way. There are adoption agencies that are cooperative and help in the process which makes it more approachable to such centres. You can also research about the same in order to get better idea or talk to individuals who you may know have opted for these ways.