Buddy’s love blunder
My friend who is 18, is in a toxic relationship with her boyfriend since a year, he doesn’t allow her to speak to anybody from the opposite gender but flirts with others. He abuses her and blackmails her with her secrets and plans to ruin her career too. She does not like my interference. What can I do to help?
Ans: Generally, people do not appreciate any criticism towards their relationship even when they are visibly unhappy. You may start talking to your friend about her relationship, both the good and bad and offer her non-judgmental view. This will help her open up and the more she realised that the bad in the relationship is actually going to be a major problem later in life, she will be in a better place to take a decision.
Rescuing a trapped friend
My friend’s mother beats up her daughter every day for talking to the opposite sex. She wants to kill herself as a mother doesn’t plan to stop and starves her. If we try talking to her mother, she shouts at us. I want to help her but there’s nothing I can do to help, is there?
Ans: You mentioned about an abusive mother of your friend, do gather more information about the role of her father in her upbringing so that he can be alarmed about this behaviour if he isn’t already. Speaking to an NGO that works towards helping the abused children could be another option. You may rope in your parents and teachers for the same.
When poverty blocks success
My domestic help’s son is an ‘A’ grade student and wants to become an engineer but they do not have the funds. He does not qualify for a scholarship due to his recent drop in academics due to his father’s death. He is a bright student but is unable to reach his true potential. Please suggest what should he do.
Ans: The student could write the scholarship people that has his academic performance so far has been consistent and only due to recent disturbance in his life he would have faltered in the same. The college professors may also write him recommendation letters so as to attest to the records. In the meanwhile, he can also try applying elsewhere for a scholarship.
Revealing the truth
All my friends are very social and they like to go for parties almost every weekend. I have social anxiety but I don’t know how to tell them since they are my only friends. What can I do?
Ans: Being friends with people entails being accepted the way you are. The difference between you and your friends about being socially comfortable must be an accommodating factor rather than you being sceptical about sharing things with them. Once you speak to your friends about this, you all can find a mid-way so that your social anxiety doesn’t make you feel socially isolated.