Every Indian politician wants to be taken seriously by everyone including the Opposition. When that does not happen, he could end up as another Rahul Gandhi, warns V GANGADHAR.
India entered the Beauty Contest arena rather late. We had to face many inhibitions and prejudices and finally we are a full-fledged participant. It is something like getting elected as a permanent member of the United Nations Security Council with full Veto powers.
Some of our high-profile women politicians belonging to the honourable opposition are facing this problem. Recent entrants in politics and members of Parliament and distinguished ministers of the Cabinet, they are puzzled at the comparative slow progress of some of their rivals like Rahul Gandhi, Vice President of the Congress and Member of Parliament from Amethi. To distinguished Parliamentarians like Hema Malini, Smriti Irani or Sushma Swaraj, Rahul Gandhi is just a ‘bechara’ though he always figures in their political discussions over cups of tea and snacks.
Hema: I see him the messenger boy in our party.
Smriti: What can we do? ‘Uska thinking bahut ‘muddled’ hain. Sometimes I go to Amethi after his visits and I simply don’t know what to tell people who had gone to listen to him. I have to narrate to them the entire history of Amethi and what he is supposed to do there and what exactly he had done so far. ‘Bilkul’ experience nahin in both terrorism and foreign policy.
Sushma Swaraj: Quick thinking nahin, Rahul ke pas. Look at me, I know only Delhi and Punjab. External Affairs mein expertise bahut kum hain. Jab mein suna tha Modiji was giving me this portfolio, I burnt the midnight oil and learnt the ropes. Remember the Lalit Modi affair. In no time I mastered diplomacy, learnt cricket, BCCI and IPL ghotala, Lalit Modi affair, talked cricket with British foreign office experts. And today I know everything about match fixing and what not also how to get a Visa for the likes of Lalit Moli.
Hema: Brilliant. It was a pity you were not the External Affairs Minister when Modiji was not the PM. You would have got a UK Visa for NaMo’ in no time and not seven years as it actually happened I learnt so much ‘hoshiyar’ being an MP from Mathura. Ran over and killed a poor pedestrian while driving in that dirty town. But quick thinking saved the day. I crossed over from the driver’s seat, jumped across to the passenger seat and put on an act which was like the scene in ‘Seeta Aur Geeta’ where I jumped and sat on the ceiling Fan. Had Modiji watched that scene he would have appointed me Minister for Civil Aviation or Minister for High Jump. Dharamji loved that scene.
Smriti: We have become experts in dialogue delivery in difficult scenes. I can handle questions on any academic issue including my foreign degrees, local ones, Yale workshops and so on. I feel sorry for Rahul and remember the poem, ‘Little Boy Lost’. He looks, forlorn, does not know where he stands and what he wants from politics. Mujhe bahut dukh hota hain. I feel like making a Sushma of him, Bechara Rahul he does not know any of this!