Unemployed Sister

My sister is 29 years old. She has been good in studies but she hasn't got a job since a year almost. She has been motivating herself so far but off late she seems to have lost hope. She just talks negatively and puts herself down. We her family try our best not to pressurize her. We support her a lot. But she doubts our intentions still. She sometimes says that is because of us she did not get a job. I don't understand. What else can we do? Its becoming difficult to handle her as she has also become aggressive.

The house equation is becoming very negative.

It sounds that you sister is facing a tough time coping with not getting a job yet. She may also compare herself with others her age and realize that she may be lagging behind. This feeling must be frustrating her a lot and the outlet may be coming out on family members. She needs to be handled sensitively. Try and motivate her in a positive way by suggesting some contacts and references that can get her some lead in her job hunt. If she gets a bit aggressive, stay calm and remind her that you are only trying to help. When she is calm, tell her that as a family you have her best interest in mind and getting annoyed over a bad patch would not necessarily find her a job sooner. It is important that until she gets back to herself, all the other family members maintain their composure and take good care of themselves. It is just the matter of time until she finds a job and things will be back to how they were before. Don't worry.

Emotionally Unstable

Hi. Lately I have been feeling very confused. I have just got out of a serious relationship. And I am pretty sure over her. It wasn't very difficult as we were having problems since very long and it was mutual. We both think it is for best. But. Recently my parents want me to get married. I am open to arrange marriage. But whenever they come up with a proposal, initially I say okay. But when its time to meet, I hesitate. I am not sure why that happens, I really don't think I am still hung up on my ex girlfriend but I don't feel I am ready. Please help me figure out! You don't seem to be emotionally in a steady state to make an important decision as marriage with all this confusion in your mind. Take some time out for yourself and don't make a hasty decision owing to pressure.

You need to honestly visualize if you see yourself settling down with someone and being intimate with them emotionally and physically.

Weight out your pros and cons and think about your priorities in life.

Marriage comprises of lot of adjustments and it changes family, financial, social equations. Hence, see if you are ready for this change to happen.

There is nothing wrong if you feel there is a part of you that has not dealt with the break up with your ex. Give yourself more time and stay focused in life, it won't help if you keep living in the past. In case you still don't find any answers, try talking to a counselor/ psychologist.

Dr. Anjali Chhabria MINDTEMPLE http:// anjalichhabria. com/