SINCE IT'S AWARDS TIME, HERE ARE 10 CRAZY AWARDS. RAHUL SHIRSATH ENLISTS THEM FOR US. 10 AWARDS

'Chaddi Buddy'award goes to Shahid Kapur for literally took the phrase as the buddy of Priyanka Chopra. When the IT people knocked at PC residence, it was reported that Shahid was present in her house at early morning. Now you don't have to be a rocket scientist to guess the purpose of his extra- friendly appearance at Priyankas house. It was he who opened the door wearing nothing but a chaddi ( underwear).

'The return of the queen'award goes to Madhuri Dixit who is back in India with her bags, baggage, husband and kids for better career opportunities. She looks stunning endorsing anti wrinkles cream and as a smile expert, but watching her as kaamwali bai ( maid) made us cringe with embarrassment.

Madhuri is yet to sign on dotted line for Vishal Bhardwarjs Dedh Ishqiya and hope she does that soon, now that Bollywood has evolved with female sexuality with movies like 'The Dirty Picture'. 'The Kodak Moment'award goes to Mallika Sherawat who got closer to none other than US President, Barrack Obama for a snap while promoting her US- Indie film. Not surprising, the actress was invited for tea and book reading at the White House.

She managed to get Oscar awards invitation as well. With PR dedication, she dutifully posted the photos on the social networking sites.

'The fallen angels'award goes to Veena Malik, Sunny Leone and Yana Gupta. These beauties from Pakistan, Canada and Czeh respectively occupied our paparazzi instincts. Veena posed nude and then went missing. Our heart did skip a beat for her. Yana Gupta forgets ( really?) to wear her underwear at kids'charity and gave photographers and fans delightful glimpse of her private features. Sunny Leone who appeared on India reality show crashed our computer systems with men frantically searching her porn videos. This kind of foreign invasions we will never mind.

'U turn'award goes to Kareena Kapoor wins consecutively in this category. Last year, she received this distinction for going signing 'Heroine'and then rejecting it for personal reasons. But now she is back as the leading lady Ashwarya Rai Bachchan got pregnant. Director Bandarkar felt that role demanded physical exertion, not advisable for a pregnant woman. Thus, producers rushed to the original choice for replacement with desired script changes and bigger remuneration.

Kareena happily agreed to re- accept the offer. As if destiny had pre decided that no one else except Kareena would be Madhur Bandarkars 'Heroine'The curious case'award goes to Salman Khan who got successfully operated for Trigeminal Neuralgia, a nerve disorder that causing intense pain in the face during any facial movement. Salman looked quite relaxed before leaving US for the op and even made a few reality shows appearances. His medical condition, otherwise unknown, received media attention with full pages dedicated but even the common man got introduced to new medical term, never heard before.

'Dolly Bindra Memorial'award goes to all the housemates of Big Boss 5 who made the house look like one crowded Mumbai local ladies compartment.

Enfant terrible Pooja Misra did succeed to raise the TRPs but marginally. There was no romance, no romance, no oil massages nor any bikini appearances unlike previous seasons.

Everybody tried to be loudmouth like Dolly Bindra. The idea of locking 12 ladies with Shakti Kapoor, who has passed his prime and virility, did not cut ice either. All we got was

screaming, swearing and shouting matches and even the porn star acted too prudish. The show lacked the sense of ending as star guests keep pouring in even till the finale week.

'Single, ready to mingle'award goes to Bipasha Basu who after the break up with 'Force'star, John Abraham seems to be on a dating spree. She was linked with Josh Harnett, Rana Duggabatti and Shahid Kapur as well. While John Abrahim moved on to an investment banker who incidentally gym together. But for Bipasha, who is clearly hurt, finds difficult to move on so quickly. Ironically, she plays a Jodi ( couple) breaker in her forthcoming film.

'Culture curry award'goes to Vidya Balan and Dhanush. Both added southern flavour to our big screens. Vidya Balan brilliantly played the south siren, Silk Smitha and brought back the days of authentic Indian 'sarees and curves'look making it 'sexy and cool'compared to western hybrids of size zero trends. Whereas Dhanush stormed the nation with the Tamil song 'Kolavari Di'breaking all records and language barriers. He recently signed a Bollywood movie and is working on a tribute music video for Sachin Tendulkar.

'Foot in the mouth'award goes to Ram Gopal Verma. The 'Rangeela'director seems to have lost control over his creativity. He addressed Amitabh Bachchan as 'ch* tiya'and called it 'backhand compliment'(??) on his tweeter handle. For his movie, 'Not a love story'based on Neeraj Grover murder case, he indulged in gimmicks like showing interest to sign real life murder accused. He did not stop there. It was reported that Ramu wants to revive his interest to make film on 26/ 11 and his infamous Taj Terror tour accompanying Chief Minister who, as result, had to resign.

AWARDS