Free Press Journal

Tips and tricks to spice up your sex life


Any couple’s sex life can get monotonous after a while. Sapna Sarfare finds ways to spice up your sex life with some help from Kamasutra

The scariest thing in any couple’s life is the word routine. A couple’s sex life plays a vital role in keeping the relationship healthy. Yet, many see their sex life stick to a routine for varied reasons. The one thing to spice up in a couple’s sex life is choosing various Kamasutra positions.

Break that routine
Dr Sanjay Kumawat, Mumbai-based consultant psychiatrist, feels passion, intimacy and closeness to share good and bad things help couples tide over crises together. “In a relationship, it is completely normal for boredom to creep into the sex life. With the growing stress of our everyday lives, partners may get tired at the end of the day and/or stressed which is the biggest killer of imagination. We must remember that sex begins in the mind and travels downwards and not the other way round.” Dr. Seema Sharma, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist adds, “Watching racy porn on net and the factual mismatch of real life creates a lot of boredom.”

Avoid such mistakes
Many men and women, of course, make mistakes during their sexual journey with their partners.  Dr Althaf Hussain of reveals, “With the men, work stress plays an important role, along with pre-occupation with one’s sexual fantasies and experiences. With women, it is expectation from the partner like more time of intercourse. Another factor is not giving attention to foreplay to have adequate arousal of the partner.”

Dr Seema feels the major mistake men make is of lacking in the grooming and hygiene department. “Also small things like awkward undressing skills and remaining expressionless during the sessions douse the passion temporarily.”

Dr Kumawat feels the mistakes spring from what men and women want from their relationships individually. “Women want companionship. In bed, they want sensuality with their sexuality. Men are completely preoccupied with sex. Many feel they should be eager to make love at any and every conceivable opportunity and consider sex as assertive power over women.  Many women are brought up to believe that they should deny their sexual feelings even if there is a man or men with whom they want to make love.”

Here’s Kama-aid
This is where Kamasutra can become the ultimate guidebook. Dr Seema finds important lessons in Kamasutra for couples on how to behave with each other. “It lays a lot of emphasis on a physical and mental union based on mutual respect and affection from both partners. It suggests that the pleasure between two people should be enjoyed to the fullest, without physical or emotional restrictions.”

Dr Kumawat thinks that Kama is pleasure experiences of five senses. “Humans are fitted by the emotions. This makes the sexual act a love making and not mechanical act. Kamasutra teaches us that sex is an important part of our life. It warns us to not be crazy about Dharma, Astha and Kama but rather be passionate only.” Dr Hussain adds, “Although spicing up couples sex life depends on many factors, Kamasutra definitely gives a lot of information regarding the different foreplay and intercourse techniques which are well proven scientifically.”

Help without
Dr Seema also suggests couples to take care of themselves. “Dress up nicely makes you not only look good but feel good, and that will automatically reflect in your demeanour. Bring in a little bit of excitement into the bedroom with appealing intimate inner wear. Keep your surroundings cosy and romantic too. Try experimenting with props, role playing and discover more about each other. Finally, take out undivided time and attention to re-connect and fire that spark up between the couple.”
Dr Kumawat suggests choosing a candlelight dinner with wine and fine food, sex toys which are non-infective, safe sex on demand for various desires, yoga and physical fitness, dance and music therapy. Dr Hussain advises couples to avoid or cut down on chronic smoking and alcohol, and drugs, which might work against the libido, orgasm and erectile function. He also suggests a proper sex education and understanding of foreplay and sexual intercourse.

Positions, and suggestions

  • The Amazon: Here, the man sits comfortably on a chair while the woman sits facing him towards him in the Amazon sex position.
  • The Right Angle: In this, the woman lays her back, with her bottom at the edge of bed for the right angle.
  • The Star Sex Position: Here, the man sits down between her legs and pushes a leg under her to lift her up.
  • The Rider: The woman has to kneel with on her back towards partner as it in a lever cow girl and bend forward towards his knees.
  • The Indian Handstand: The woman will take her weight on her hands stretched on the floor/bed, while the man standing will raise her hips allowing her to put her leg beneath his arms.
  • The Eagle: The couple will lie sideways facing each other. The woman’s legs will grip the man around the waist and the arms encircling his shoulder. He enters her while embracing her.
  • The Lotus Blossom: An intimate position, the man will sit on the bed with legs outstretched. The woman will sit on top. He pulls her close and hitches his legs in. The woman does the same with her legs around him. She grinds against his penis.
  • The Whisper: In this position, the woman lies on her side with bent knees and the man will slip between her legs.
  • The Column: In this position, the couple is standing with the woman in the front and their arms are intertwined for balance
  • Sitting up on the kitchen counter gives great balance and control. Dr Seema suggests, “The man enters you from the front. You’re then able to have fun with no concerns about him or you holding up your weight.”
  • You can lie on your side with bent knees. “Use pillows if extra support is needed. He can enter from the back or front. If from the front, see if you feel comfortable putting a leg up on his shoulder. This can bring you both great pleasures,” Dr Seema suggests.