The new year is a great time for a fresh start and the resolutions are looming. But somehow, we don’t trust celebrities to choose the right resolutions, so we’ve done it for them…and in the form of a song! So sing along, says VANESSA VIEGAS.
Pyaar hume kis mode pe le aaya…
The year gone by has seen Katrina Kaif metamorphosing into a territorial girlfriend. But hey, that’s far from being insecure or needy and that’s not what we are suggesting; although the alleged platonic ‘TAMASHA’ may not be going down too well with Kat. When she recently blasted a renowned choreographer for not placing her at the fore in a dance sequence, we suspected this meltdown was a repercussion of some suppressed emotion that’s been eating into her. But the last nail in the coffin was when Kat confessed to a leading daily, “Men have been the hunters and the philanderers. Being with an actor has its own set of issues, but the basic differences arise because men are men. Cheaters will cheat anywhere.” Well, message received. We definitely think this baggage cannot and should not make it to 2016. Has this love taken its toll on her?
Jhoot bole kauwa kate…
Salman Khan has been acquitted of all charges in the Hit and Run case, and somewhere maybe impending justice was served. If the legal system in the country doesn’t find him guilty as charged, we’re nobody to question the verdict. All we are saying is maybe he should consider writing a revised version of the Indian Penal Code and we’re sure it would be a bestseller. Last year when he told us he was still a virgin, we had a hearty laugh and forgot all about it. This year, in all sobriety, he has defied the law and even time-travelled to change facts from another year. We don’t know how, but the lies keep getting more heinous if not funnier. Maybe lie a little more convincingly in 2016?
Naam bade aur darshan chhote
We have to give it to SonamKapoor though, that she has some of the most interesting interviews. Rewinding back to the time when she said Deepika’s only claim to fame is an overexcited PR team or when she was quoted saying, “Being considered as an icon in my 20s, when people in their 40s or after they die, are considered icons!” or her unwanted sermons on good acting – “Just bcoz you look like, ordinary and you act loud doesn’t mean you’re a good actor, you know what I mean?” Well darlin’, we know what you mean and it’s all in your head. We think Sonam Kapoor should do fewer magazine covers and learn that prancing in designer dresses won’t count as acting in 2016. After all, Daddy can get you only this far with all his Prem, Ratan and Dhan.
Shah Rukh Khan
Abhi toh main jawaan hoon…
You can hopelessly fall in love with this man every time he flashes those dimples and fall again for his unparalleled charm. There is no denying that he has a heart of a 16-year-old. But show him the mirror somebody, the heart’s trapped in an ageing body. The primary reason for his suddenly ageing face is puffing away on a pack of Dunhill’s like there’s no tomorrow. That and sleeping for only three to four hours a night, which may not be allowing his body to recover from the fatigue he must be experiencing after a hard day’s work. All we want Shah Rukh to do is maybe dive into some self-indulgence in 2016 and kick the butt for real!
Jo darr gaya who marr gaya
Bipasha Basu proudly claims to be the Queen of the Horror genre and is apparently here to give horror its due credit and save it from imploding. Sweet gesture, but after her last film CREATURE 3D, (fantasy horror) we have serious doubts. All we are saying is, maybe Bips could try a new genre and surprise herself, if not us? Don’t we all want to see this gorgeous actress in some sexy, cutting edge sci-fi drama in 2016? If you hold the baton for this genre, you should know it takes more than a graphically created poltergeist to give us the heebie-jeebies. C’mon darling, you aren’t as scary looking as you think you are, show us something cooler?
Tujhe sab hai pata hai na maa…
We really think the Kapoor boy should stop using the Momma card too often and stand up for his women. While soccer mom Neetu keeps slamming his lady loves and cropping them out of pictures that make for headlines the following day, we have never seen the Kapoor scion standing up for his ladies. Wouldn’t we love it if he pushed the envelope a little? Putting Mommy in her place wouldn’t make you any less of a man, Ranbir.
Kisko pyaar karu, kaise pyaar karu?
Well, Deepika Paukone reminds us of a little girl in a candy shop that can’t make a choice. We understand movie promotions and method acting, but her renewed closeness with Ranbir Kapoor had tongues wagging and how. Agreed it’s refreshing to see such progressive mindsets and forward thinking, but not at the cost of making your beau brood in a corner. Apparently, the last time Ranveer dropped into Mehboob Studio where his girlfriend was promoting TAMASHA with Ranbir, he was in for a surprise when he found Deepika heating up the atmosphere with Ranbir. Getting hold of a passing whisper, we heard Ranveer was left totally disgruntled and mildly irritated looking at his Mastani getting a bit too comfy with the ex-flame.
Sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamare dil mein hai
Aamir Khan was in for a rude shock this year when his stance on the engorging intolerance in our country came ricocheting back to him. Wouldn’t it have been a lot easier on him had he just returned his Sahitya Akademi award? Oh wait… he doesn’t have one to return. Maybe if he did have the award and maybe if he returned it instead of making an open, harmless statement he would not have had to face the mindless brickbats hurled at him for stating the obvious. We think Aamir Khan should start accepting awards in 2016, firstly because he deserves them and secondly, because he wouldn’t have to open his mouth at a time when the country needs a reality check that was long overdue.
Naam gum ho jaayega
Akshay Kumar’s Numero Uno priority should be to start working on the titles of his movies. We can’t tell the difference between SINGH IS KINNG and SINGH IS BLIING, NAMASTE ENGLAND and NAMASTE LONDON, HEY BABY and BABY. And the man even goes on record to state that none of them are sequels. The plots are all different and unrelated. Akshay, how would we ever know? Change the name game!
Main hoon don
We are really proud of Kangana this year for some spell-bounding performances, but to our dismay the fame seems to have reached her head. In the movie QUEEN, Kangana’s name was mentioned in the credits as that of Dialogue Writer, and now she wants to be billed as Co-Director for RANGOON. Apparently we hear, Bhardwaj and producer Sajid Nadiadwala are having second thoughts on Kangana Ranaut as they are not able to deal with her impractical demands. Kangs, doing things on your own terms is one thing, being a pain in the neck is another. Why don’t you just learn to mind your own business and do what you do best? Stick to acting for now?