The lovely Dipannita Sharma tells Nichola Pais that the love isn’t over just because you have momentarily been attracted to someone else or lost some physical attraction for your current partner
How would you describe love?
Love is that unexplainable feeling that hits you in a spur of the moment but has the potential of growing into something much deeper in the times to come. I think that translates to pure happiness!
Has your definition of love changed over the years?
Well, I feel it has… in the sense that I realise there are so many different kinds and different versions of love, which you feel intensely about. Whether it’s momentary, long term, what you feel at that moment is real and that’s what matters… It’s not something that you can explain to anyone but just feel and allow it to make you happy or take you through a plethora of emotions.
Do you feel books, films etc promote an unreal image of love?
Yeah, they do. The context of love is always misplaced in most films and the lighter romantic books. Just because you have momentarily gotten attracted to someone else or lost some physical attraction for your current partner, doesn’t mean the love is over. That’s forever. Nor is it wrong to get attracted to another person because we are all human… yes because we live within particular societal norms we are expected to make the ‘right’ decision.
What does it take to make love last?
Love can pretty much last if two people are on the same page… but to keep the fire burning is a little tricky. You have to be open to discussions and be honest with each other about how you feel in the current situation. Also, we get too serious. More often than not due to expectations… Humour is extremely important in a relationship but timing of that humour is more crucial.
Many relationships seem to become a power struggle between the two partners…
It’s because as humans we have a tendency to think we are always right and the other person is wrong. In a relationship there are two people thinking the same. It takes a lot to admit that you are wrong and move on. This is merely an ego hassle. It’s not always easy but it’s possible to get around it by having a conversation. But yes it is a two-way street and it cannot be just one person always apologising. There has to be a balance. But you also shouldn’t keep count of who apologised how many times. It’s tricky but you have to just be organic.
Do you see a change in the attitude of girls especially where love matters are concerned?
When I meet women/ girls younger than me, especially between the age group of 26-32, I see a big change in how I was at that age, at least in the urban scenario. Most of them aren’t in a hurry to settle down. They really want to figure out who they are first and also figure out if a relationship as a long term thing even works for them, at the moment. They are really clear about where they stand currently. If they are attracted to someone, they take it as just that; if they feel something deeper then they let themselves feel whatever they are feeling at the moment. We as a society (including me) tend to be a victim of conditioning and it’s heartening to see some change in the young women.
Are there any relationships around you that inspire you?
I’m generally inspired by human connections as time goes by and any connection which you feel deeply for at that moment, which is fulfilling is inspiring for me. It doesn’t have to always be ‘love’ in the conventional sense, it could just be a deep unsaid mutual connect with a friend…
Is Valentine’s a special day for you and your spouse? What is a V-Day celebration generally like, for you?
I think Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love not just with your spouse/boyfriend/lover but also with people you generally love/care for. If my parents and sister were here we would all go out and celebrate like one big happy family but otherwise if we aren’t at work, hubby and I usually just go for a quiet dinner. Sometimes I bake a cake (smiles). Also, I would advise not to keep things unsaid. It’s okay to wear your heart on your sleeve. Take a chance without thinking of the outcome. Love is about being courageous.
Any corny, over the top things smitten guys have done for you over the years that still bring a smile to your face?
Yes actually when I was in school I used to receive many cards on Valentine’s Day… some anonymous. And then once a boy recorded the all-time mushiest, corniest, soppiest love songs on a cassette and gave it to me. That one brings a smile to my face for sure… Now when I think of it – I think it’s adorable.- Cineblitz