I am a stock broker for the last 30 years and have made myself a good fortune in all these years. I am 60 years and I know I should now just retire and reap the benefits of my hard work but I am finding it very difficult to leave work. Trading has become more of an addiction for me and is really affecting my mental sanity. I think I am very greedy for money and realised that recently on a family trip to Goa recently. I spent my entire vacation in the casino and my family is very upset with me. This is not the only time I have disappointed them. They have been upset with my habits most of my life and always complained that I didn’t have time for them and how I would rather choose money over them. I want to change and want to give my family good memories now. I tend to Do everything in excess whether it’s working, drinking, smoking, gambling or eating.
Ans. Trading in e stock market is close to gambling but is a legal manner. More than your work what seems to be the problem here is that you may have an addictive personality which makes you moe prone to any kind of addiction. It’s great that you have a good insight of your problem and are on your own seeking help. You have taken the first step towards fighting your addiction. Rest it could be difficult to do without seeking help. Thus I would suggest you to seek professional help for your addictions as weak and seek counselling for yourself and your family to help you’ll mend relations and be a more bonded.
I am 28 years old. I live with my family which consists of my mother who is a housewife, father who has retired and brother who is 22 years and is studying. I have a great career. I am the sole earning member and work very hard the whole day to keep the house running and make my brother study. After which I do like to spend little time by myself and sometimes with my friends. This is something that my parents just don’t like. My parents don’t approve of me having a social life after work as they care what people would say if I am single and went out for late nights. I understand their concern but I am mature and don’t see anything wrong in going out at night. Cannot just come home from work and be home I need time off and need to meet my friends too. With this constant conflict I feel I am getting into a depression and just reaching a break down point. I don’t think my parents understand me.
Ans. Having hectic day at work can be taxing and stress and each one definitely requires time to relax and unwind. For you unwinding could mean just being by yourself or catching up with friends but for your parents it could mean spending time at home with them. I am sure your parents are not trying to stress you intentionally. There seems to be a generation gap and difference in thinking. You could come to a compromise by probably reducing the number of outings yo have and rather has friends over at times. This could keep our parents at ease as they know who your with and also serve your purpose of being with friends. The more you get your friends acquainted to your parents the more they will trust your company and thins will e better. Also try not getting irritated with them. They may have been brought up in a different set up. Talk to them patiently. If things still do not get better seek help from someone close to the family or consider family counselling. Because you do need to maintain your calm as dealing with emotions stress alone could be lot harder.
Not ready to say ‘I do’
My parents want me look for boys in arrange marriage. I am only 23 years old. I am not sure if I even believe in this whole system of arrange marriage. But the emotional pressure is so much that I have become rude and angry with my parents. I know I am hurting them but I don’t know how to make then understand that I am still young and want to still make my career.
Ans: In our society there is a large section that believes that as soon as a girl is done other her education she must get married. The fear of these parents is that if they daughter starts working and gets busy making a career she might not adjust well into a new family as she may have demands of her own. Also most people in our society still believe that a girl eventually needs to get married and start a family and look after her home. Her career comes second. But on the other hand arrange marriages usually take a while. It’s not necessary that if you start seeing boys now you will get married now. It may take long before you actually find the right person of your choice. So come to a middle ground. Tell your parents you understand their concern but you also want them to respect your goal. Thus give them a time limit of 6 months to year where you will prepare yourself mentally to start seeing boys. In this way both your parent’s and your wishes are taken care off.
My father, mother and grandparents are all doctors. And obviously being from this intellectual background there is always this pressure to perform especially me being the only child. But I am not very academically inclined since my school days. To keep them happy I have taken up science but my passion and dream is to become a musician. I am deeply into classical music and have learnt the tabla at the of 9. For my family, they can’t fathom that music can be a profession and I can make a career out of it. They have till now not been able to stop me is because I have always even kept up to my grades. But off late as I am getting into the final year they are constantly bombarding me with interviews for internship. Please help.
Ans: It’s a difficult situation you are going through. But it’s high time you come clean with your parents. By always getting the good grades and studying a line your family wants you too, you have already made them dream and hold expectations out of you. You are trying to keep all happy but how long will you be able to do what they want and what you want too? Telling them frankly about your goal may cause conflicts and unhappiness for a while. But I am sure once your parents see you excel in a career of your choice they will accept it and come around. Passion and love for your work is very important. So continue finding good opportunities in the music field.
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