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Agony Aunt helps you to deal with workplace problems

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Hostile boss

I always put in my all into this job, but my boss doesn’t appreciate it at all. He also resorts to using foul language and harsh tones while communicating his thoughts. I’m left frustrated and do not know how to work in such an environment as leaving the job is not a very realistic option for me. 

Ans: The approach you have towards the job is somewhere backed by fear along with frustration. Bringing into notice to your boss as to how his behaviour is affecting you would at least bring to light the issue rather than you all being subjugated to ill treatment. At any given point, your emotional and mental well-being is essential to sustain the environment and you always have an option of moving to a better place if things don’t seem to change at the current workplace.


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Overcoming anxiety

I struggle with general anxiety and I recently got a new job at this big firm. It’s my first big job and I want to do my best but my fear of doing something wrong is holding me back. 

Ans: the fear is both rational and irrational. Rational because you will be entering a new environment and work with people who are unknown. The irrational fear is giving rise to your anxiety as the fear is about what all could possibly go wrong. There could be multiple answers to this question, hence using your mental resources in a way where you focus more on the task at hand rather than the possibilities of things being wrong could help you settle in the new environment. looking at the situation in a gradual and compartmentalized way could be beneficial.

Envious colleague

I have a colleague who seems envious of my ability and experience due to which she is always trying to prove me wrong, interfere in my work and make me lose my position. She always finds faults in my work when our boss is around and tries to show off her knowledge to make me look inferior. This leaves me feeling dejected and frustrated and I’m unable to give my best.

Ans: Your ability is determined by the confidence with which you can deliver the work. Thus, the colleague may behave unprofessionally but ultimately the important thing to focus on is the effect it has on your work. The less you consider her opinions as important or the ones that matter, the easier it would be for you to let go of frustrations and dejection.

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Self-doubt

Working for my brother’s firm, I deal with loads of hostility from my colleagues. I am not qualified for this job on paper, but my ability surpasses all my colleagues. They believe I got it only because of my relationship with him and this makes me doubt myself now. I am also afraid my brother will not give me a promotion or a raise I deserve only because others won’t take it well.   

Ans: Others would harbour the perception of you being preferred at the workplace by your brother and the way to get around this is to work with such people at a closer proximity. This will allow you to create a perception about yourself which isn’t biased. And as far as your brother is concerned have a conversation with him regarding the same so that when the situation arises, you receive what you are capable of.

Guilt Ridden

I got an unexpected promotion over a colleague who was expecting it. I think I landed it because the boss is fond of me. There is a slight sense of guilt, but I do not want to give it up because I could use the post and the pay rise that comes with it. But now I cannot face that colleague and a lot of others at office, because every time I see them I’m struck by a lot of guilt. I cannot go back on my decision of accepting it now but I do not know how to cope with the guilt.

Ans: There are few considerations to be made here, first ask yourself whether you are deserving of the promotion, then move to ask yourself whether this post will be done justice to if you continue. If there is any doubt that you will not be the best person for the job, suggest this to your boss and let him take a call. If the guilt is just because of the favouritism, it will disappear if you realise that you are good for the job.