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Agony Aunt helps you to deal with workplace problems

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The balancing act

I am a businesswoman owning a small-scale industry of 200 employees. I have a good set of employees and they all work really well individually. However, due to individual differences, they have a lot of differences in terms of planning and executing a task and as I am the immediate concerned person who decides what has to be done, it’s creating a lot of pressure handling their conflicts as well as dealing with the clients. In addition when there is increase in work, they are not able to handle the stress, eventually expecting me to guide them. I am a soft-hearted person by nature so I take up all the responsibility that creates a lot of overload and stress on me.

Ans : Conflict is a very common phenomenon at work place, as it is basically reflecting the difference of ideas, values, goals and necessities, so it involves every individual at work to resolve this and one alone person like you cannot be enough sometimes. However if you think that there are no efforts from their side then you must try to work with the team members and encourage them to learn the importance of conflict management at work. Hold a meeting in which you can share your concerns about how their disagreements are causing hindrance in the overall performance, come up with such ideas that needs group work and co-ordination, and lastly try to hire possible experts who does workshop on team building, cohesiveness at work and good leadership such various useful aspects of work, as this may help your team to get a better insight and ways of handling the issues rather than you having to deal with the whole thing and get stressed.


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Pressure of being YouTuber

I am a 20 year old Youtuber. I make and upload videos on Youtube thrice week and have a decent following on the channel. I love doing this as it is a very creative mode of expression and I love brainstorming new ideas and content for my channel. I even earn a certain amount from the channel when I meet certain goals or through paid promotions. One of the downside to this is that people tend to get very interested in your personal life and keep insisting of having glimpses of it. I do entertain it within reason but a lot of time it interferes with my relationships. For example, very often people have insisted that I include my boyfriend in the videos and though I have at times, he gets very annoyed to do so. Partly because he is a private person and partly because he does not live in the same city as me so when he is here, he likes to have uninterrupted time with me. But the pressure from the internet is a lot and I don’t know how to balance the two especially since you have to paint a very rosy picture for them and show them that you have the perfect life and perfect relationship. Please help me as I don’t know what to do.

Ans: Your understanding about people looks quiet hassled, as you are not able draw a line between personal and professional aspect, even if it is blurred it has to exist and only you can define it to the world. You have to keep both separate and avoid asking a mistake of blending both, just like all celebrities try their best to keep their private life as secret as possible, you too will have to learn to manage your professional life without dragging your boyfriend into it, especially if he is uncomfortable with it. Instead what you need is a little training in assertion and public statements, like how you can politely without losing your fans you can deny the display of your personal life. It will be wrong to use your boyfriend to accessorize your life, instead believe that your work is so good and creative that you do not need to share your personal life to attract more fans, they should like you for your work not because of your relationship with your boyfriend.

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Caught between work and family

I have been working in this company for 3 years and have learned a lot from it. I have even gained the trust of all the seniors and my boss also considers me to be very responsible and often gives me the important projects to manage. This time, he has entrusted me with this international project which is very important to the company and the second leg of the project requires me to go abroad for a few months. The problem is that I have a 4 year old child and my family also opposing me for going abroad. I have even found someone who is capable and can handle going abroad for it. I even volunteered to supervise all the operations from here but my boss refuses to relent. Please help me communicate my dilemma to the higher authorities as I don’t know what to do and how to go about doing it.

Ans: This conflict is between two things that you really want, your career opportunity and your time with family, and it is a common dilemma that many man experiences in their career life. The good thing is that at least on both ends you will be gaining something in place of the other, so you are rest assured that you will have at least one of the areas of life sorted for you, but of course you may miss out on the other. Make a pro-con list for both the situation; think about in which scenario your loss is minimal. For instance you can try to convince your boss that you may go and do the needful work abroad but you can share this responsibility with the other colleague who you think is capable too, in this way you have a back up just in case your family needs you at a given time. Talk to your boss and try to create a win-win situation, or else the last option will be none other than letting go of one thing either family time or than your work.