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Agony Aunt helps you to deal with relationship problems

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Challenges of Samaritan

My pet dog had recently fallen sick and it made me feel miserable for days. On seeing him I got an inspiration to start working towards animal welfare but my parents are not of the similar thought pattern. They want me to be a Chartered Accountant and then MBA. I wish to study veterinary and set up an animal hospital. How do I address this with my parents?

Ans: Give your parents a chance to understand what veterinary is all about so that they have a better idea and can be accommodating about it as a career. The interest, personality and aptitude are three important ingredients in any profession. Show your parents that your interest, aptitude as well as a personality all three lies in working with animals and not numbers if you are seriously considering that as a career.


Self-image at stake

I recently attended a party with a bunch of my college friends. The party started out really well but towards the end people around me began to get drunk and engage in reckless behaviour. We had to vacate the place when the neighbours called cops. The neighbours saw me and my friends sneaking out and the next day on wards entire building kind of turned against me. I feel the neighbour must have spoken about me to the others and now they think negatively about me. I really like this apartment and don’t want any altercations with the building members. What to do?

Ans: The assumption of yours is based on the fact that she caught you sneaking out of the party. the entire building may not have an issue per say because of this fact alone. Try talking to whom you are more comfortable and address this assumption of yours so as to get a clearer picture. You might get a different version as to why the building people are acting weird.

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Friend in trouble

I found out a few days ago that my roommate has been indulging in self-harm for past few months. She is reluctant to talk to anyone about it and keeps herself locked in the room. I am worried that she might further harm herself. What to do?

Ans: Involving her family is crucial as she is vulnerable at the moment. Check upon her from time to time and involve her in small talk that doesn’t revolve around the things she is reluctant to talk about. Making her feel comfortable is important so that she opens. You can also suggest her to talk to a professional in case she finds it difficult to communicate with you or the family.

Putting a full stop  

My 16-year-old daughter is getting bullied in her school and despite actions being taken by the school the bullying still continues. I don’t know what more can be done in order to help her. She is regularly seeking therapy as well but each new incident puts a new dent. Please help.

Ans: Arrange for a meeting with the parents of the kids who are bullying your daughter and explain them the gravity of the situation. In case this doesn’t bode well then, the ultimatum would be seeking intervention from the cops as bullying is a punishable offence. Prior to taking extreme measures talk to the parents so as to see whether their interventions can help in the situation.

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‘Sex’ and the secret

I am a 26-year-old man and I have a lovely girlfriend, who is kind and beautiful and loves me a lot. However, I am gay and she has no idea. I am too scared to tell her or anybody else including family and friends. My parents have a very negative attitude towards homosexuality and would never accept me. I want to come out to my parents but I don’t know how to. Can you please give me some guidance?

Ans: The first and foremost step to take is towards you accepting your sexuality wholeheartedly. This can only happen if you let go of the relationship with your girlfriend as there is deceit from your end. Acceptance from parents will be difficult if they share negative views towards homosexuality but fearing or assuming their reactions in advance will not bring you any solution. There is ideally no ‘right time’ to tell your parents so the more you wait, you also increase the chances of them finding out from other sources. The goal should be you telling them the truth and then facing the consequences as you may not be able to control their reactions but always have a control over what you say and how you say. Thus, do the thinking and your part of when to tell them rather than creating scenarios of how they might react.